What If
by swifty13fans
Summary: The Reapers gone and Shepard is alive, what could possibly be wrong? That is until Liara found out that her bondmate may not remember her. With certain someone is around the corner and Shepard ex-fiancé is back in the picture. Can Liara make Shepard remember her again? Alternate story of Forever After. You don't necessarily need to read it to understand. *story still in progress*
1. Playing With Fire

**A/N : This is my second fan fiction and if you guys read my first fan fiction, Forever After, thank you for keep following my work. I still plan on continue my first fan fiction since this story is different than Forever After but don't be surprised when the characters that I created on Forever After reprise their role in this story. Let just say this is an alternate story to Forever After. But this is by any no means will make me stop writing Forever After, that still will be my main focus so I want to warn you guys that I won't be updating this story as fast as I will with Forever After. I'm going to take my time. Anyway for the new readers, you don't need to read Forever After to understand this story but if you want to read it, I am more than happy and it probably will give you more insight on this story such as who are they, what kind of background they had but there will be a few thing that difference about them. One last note, please let me know what you think about this story but please be nice and I appreciate a constructive criticism but please do not bash me since I'm still pretty new in this scene and English is my second language so bear in mind that there will be some grammar mistakes and some typo because sometimes my head said something else and my hand type the wrong thing. **

**For the new readers or in case you forgot/wonder what kind of Shepard I write for this story, well here a quick summary. My Shepard is Paragade, usually a Paragon but known to take some Renegade action/speech from time to time. Her background is Spacer, War Hero and her class is a Soldier. Ashley survived the Virmire and most of the crews (more like everyone) are alive and well. Not really following the ME3 ending, so it will be my own take. So without further ado….**

***I do not own anything except the story and some of the characters on this story, other than that, credits where it's due.***

* * *

Chapter 1 : Playing With Fire

Shepard just stood outside the makeshift medical room while looking at Liara who's busy checking the injured Alliance soldiers. So many thoughts running in her head, so many things to say but one thing for certain there's a big possibility that it will be the only chance she going to get to say her goodbye. This is even harder than other goodbyes she had said today… Shepard took a deep breath before start walking towards Liara.

"How are the casualties?" asked Shepard as she's approach Liara but stop short a few feet away.

"They haven't brought in any more wounded." replied Liara as she turns off her omni-tool.

"That's something… How are you holding up Liara?" asked Shepard as she looks at Liara while trying to keep her nerve in check.

"This is it, isn't it?" replied Liara as her calm and collected expression turns into sad and worry.

"Yeah. This is it." said Shepard as she closing the gap between her and Liara.

"I don't know what to say." said Liara as she take a step back before smiling a bit before continuing. "All those little blue children will be disappointed I didn't have a speech."

"We'll make up a good story for them."

"I do have one thing for you, Shepard." said Liara as she turns around to face Shepard. "A gift. It will only take a moment, if you want it."

"What kind of gift?"

"Do you remember when I first joined my consciousness to yours? I can show you some of my own memories… Asari exchange them, sometimes. With good friends… or their bondmates… It can also be a farewell." explains Liara.

"Show me." agreed Shepard.

"Close your eyes." said Liara as she walks closer to Shepard before holding Shepard forearms with both of her hands as her eyes turns black.

Shepard let Liara mind reached her as she closed her eyes before slowly opens it. As she opens her eyes, everything around her turned black, there's only Liara standing in front of her before small lights raining upon them. All they did was watching around them before a bright white light coming from the horizon take both of their attention. As the light become bigger, Shepard and Liara closing their gaps between them before giving each other a passionate kiss between two lover with nothing else matter right there and then.

As the lights consumed them as they kiss, Shepard is brought back to reality with Liara still standing in front of her.

"Thank you. For everything." said Liara as the meld faded and both of her hands are on Shepard hands. Liara slowly break the touch before taking a step back. "I love you. Now let's do what needs to be done."

Shepard could see that Liara trying to stop herself from crying as she turns away from her. Shepard wanted to tell her that everything going to be fine but that's means she just lying. She knew it's not going to be fine and this is probably the last time she going to see Liara. Feeling that the longer she stays there, they harder it would be, Shepard slowly walk towards the right door in the room to meet Anderson.

* * *

"This war's brought us pain and suffering and loss. But it's also brought us together… as soldiers, allies, friends. This bond that ties us together is something the Reapers will never understand. It's more powerful than any weapon, stronger than any ship. It can't be taken or destroyed. The next few hours will decide the fate of everyone in the galaxy. Every mother. Every son. Every unborn child. They're trusting you… depending on you to win them their future. A future free from the threat of the Reapers. But take heart. Look around you. You're not in this fight alone. We face our enemy together, and together we will defeat them."

Shepard finished giving her speech as she think about which she will have with her for the final assault. Garrus will always be one of two crew members she will choose as she said before to Garrus, 'there's no Shepard without Vakarian'. Bringing Javik along will give the satisfaction for the Prothean and he's definitely one of the best biotics Shepard ever fought alongside if not the best. As Shepard deeply in thought over who she want to bring with her for the final assault, Liara slowly approach her.

"Shepard. May I talk to you for a moment?" asked Liara carefully.

"Yeah. Sure."

"I want to be a part of the final assault with you."

"Liara…"

"Listen Shepard, I know you want to protect me but I can protect myself. I need to be with you for the final assault. You asked me to leave when the Normandy blow up and then you died, Shepard. I don't want to leave your side for this mission." said Liara firmly.

"If anything happen to you…"

"If you died again, knowing I was not there with you, I don't know if I can go through it again. Please, Shepard. Let me come with you."

Before Shepard can answer Liara, Major Coats approach them to ask Shepard to pick her team now. Shepard gathers everyone around before making her choice to accompany her for the final push to the beam.

"I would love to bring everyone with me but I can only choose two and the other will help the other. Ashley, James, you two will be better leading the Alliance soldiers. EDI, Tali, I want you two to be back on the Normandy and keep the Normandy save in case we need an extraction… Garrus, I don't imagine going for this fight without you. Javik, I want to bring you along but I have to choose Liara instead of you." said Shepard.

"Don't worry, Shepard. I make sure the Normandy at a ready if you need an extraction." said Tali.

"As much as I want to be a part of your team for the final assault, I understand you reason for wanting me to lead the Alliance soldiers." said Ashley.

"I understand, Commander. I will join other team for the final assault." said Javik.

"I'm ready whenever you are, Shepard." said Garrus.

"Thank you, Shepard." said Liara as she approach Shepard.

"Don't make me regret this."

* * *

The final push goes a lot differently than Shepard would have wanted as she and her team has to make a run for the beam while it's been guarded by a Reaper. Avoiding the red beam the Reaper send on her way is easy enough to avoid as she had practice on Rannoch but it's another when you has to avoid vehicles too. Shepard was barely duck the Mako flying towards her before she watch another Mako fly towards Garrus and Liara and exploded. Shepard waste no time running back toward her team and after seeing Garrus is alright, she rush towards Liara and help her to a cover behind an upside down Mako.

"Normandy, do you copy." said Shepard through her comm. "I need an evac. Right now!"

"We're taking heavy losses up here, Commander." said Joker through the comm.

"On our way." add Joker as soon as they arrive at their coordinates.

"Come on." said Shepard as she help Liara to the Normandy.

"Here. Take her…" said Shepard to Garrus as they arrive at the Normandy shuttle bay door.

"Shepard…" yell Liara as Garrus take Liara from Shepard.

"You gotta get out of here."

"I'm alright, Shepard…" said Liara despite she's clearly not alright.

"Don't argue with me, Liara."

"You're not leaving me behind…"

"No matter what happens… You mean everything to me, Liara. You always will." said Shepard in her crack voice as she walk towards Liara before stopping in front of her and caress her right cheek.

"Shepard, I… I am yours." that's all Liara could mutter as Shepard slowly back down the ramp.

"Go!" yell Shepard as she saw the Reaper is ready to strike again.

Shepard start to run towards the beam and keep avoiding the flying Mako as the Normandy start to fly. With one glance towards the Normandy, she felt happy that she knew no matter what the outcome of this, Liara will survive. That's all she needs to motivate herself before a Mako overturn in her path and she barely avoid being hit by the Mako. As she got back to her feet, the Reaper starts firing at her.

* * *

She had no idea how she survived it but she found herself closer to the beam and badly burn. Her right shoulder also hurt like hell but it won't stop her from making one final push. As she get closer, a Marauder come from behind a rock and start shooting at her and nick her right shoulder. Gathering every inch of strength she had, Shepard shot the Marauder with her Carnifex pistol. As the Marauder dead, Shepard finally arrives at the beam and as she steps into it, it immediately takes her up to the Citadel.

Shepard had no idea how she got there. Now she's facing 3 choices, 3 choices that could change the galaxy. Just 5-10 minutes ago, she was facing The Illusive Man, clearly indoctrinate and he got her to shot her mentor, Anderson. Raged at what The Illusive Man just made her do, she managed to break his control on her as she fired a shot at him that kill him almost instantly.

She was having conversation with Anderson and she remembered vividly that Anderson told her that she will be a great mother some day as he slowly slipped away. Shepard gathered strength that she had to apply her last medi-gel before she realized that she was bleeding in her lower abdomen. As she starting to lose her consciousness, Admiral Hackett came through her comm. to tell her that The Crucible isn't firing. Once again she had to gather all the strength she had to move towards the control only finally to have herself passed out a few feet away.

She was waked up by an AI that called himself as The Catalyst. The AI looked a lot like that kid that was killed on Earth. He told Shepard she has 3 choices, destroy, control or synthesis. He told Shepard that synthesis could be the answer but he also admitted there was other that picked synthesis and it didn't work out. Shepard couldn't believe that if she picks the synthesis it will work out just because the AI told her that she's already a part organic and synthetic.

Control was never an option as she's not even sure if the Reapers didn't indoctrinate her already so that only leaves destroy. Her mission from the very beginning was to destroy the Reapers and she finally going to fulfill but one thing stop herself from doing so. The AI told her that by picking destroy, not only the Reapers dead but also other synthetic in the galaxy such as the Geth. Truth to be told it wasn't the fact the Geth will die too that stopping her, but the fact EDI will die. EDI is not only the Normandy AI, she also a part of her crew and most importantly, EDI is her friend.

But a voice inside her head telling her that if she couldn't trust the AI about the synthesis and control options, why would she trust the AI about the destroy option? Usually she hate the voice inside her head telling her what to do and what she can't do, but right now it make the most sense. Finally made her choice, Shepard start walking slowly towards the destroy console. It wasn't that far away but in her current conditions, it takes a lot more time that she like.

As soon as she arrived in front of the console, Shepard takes a deep breath before start pointing her gun at the console. With every trigger pull all the memories of the war start flooding her thought. The people she loss, the death she saw in front of her eyes and lastly the look of Liara face with her smile that always melt Shepard heart away. As the console starting to blow up, Shepard manage to mutter her last words, "I'm sorry, Liara. I will always love you."

* * *

Liara hated it when Shepard asked her to go back to the Normandy. She know she was injured but she want to stay with Shepard. She can't lose her again, she didn't know how to go through it again. No, she CAN'T go through it again. When the Crucible fired, all Reapers instantly died and nothing else was damaged except the Citadel. Admiral Hackett and the Normandy trying nonstop getting through Shepard but they didn't recieve a single answer. That is until Anderson answer but when was asked where'd Shepard is, his answered sting Liara heart.

"I can't see Shepard anywhere." said Anderson

"Was she badly hurt?" asked Admiral Hackett.

"She was badly hurt alright and she still gave me her medi-gel. Damn it, Shepard."

"We're sending reinforcement with search and rescue party to the Citadel right now. We will start searching for Shepard, dead or alive."

"Admiral Hackett, permission for the Normandy crew to join in?" asked Ashley.

"That's a no, Lieutenant Commander. We need the Normandy to get back to Earth. You're all the symbol of hope and success for every species in the Galaxy. They need to know you're all alright."

"But Admiral, Shepard is our Commanding Officer. We have a duty to go find her."

"That's a negative, Lieutenant Commander Williams. That's an order."

"This is a joke right." said Joker as the comm is cut off.

"Unbelievable." said Ashley in frustration.

"You want to pull a Shepard, Ashley?" asked Garrus.

"You means disobeying order?"

"It won't be the first time."

"I'm all for it." said Joker giving his agreement.

"That's settle than." said Garrus as he look at Ashley.

"Why the hell not? She has done a lot of thing to all of us aboard the Normandy, the least thing we could do is to go search for her." said Ashley as she nod in agreement.

* * *

It has been 3 weeks since the Normandy crew disobeying order and go search and rescue Shepard. When they found her, she was barely breathing and she has been in coma ever since. Miranda instantly appeared at a hospital on Earth where they treated Shepard to offer her help. Miranda led a handful of others doctors to save Shepard and everything has gone smoothly but they won't know how smoothly until Shepard wakes up.

The Alliance has decided not to take any action on the Normandy that disobeying Admiral Hackett order since they did found Shepard first before the other team that was sent by the Alliance. Also they don't want to get on Shepard bad side when she woke up to find out her crew are in jail for rescuing her… For the past 2 weeks, the Normandy has been helping with rebuilding effort. Only Liara stay by Shepard side as she refused to leave Shepard side until she wakes up.

"Any changes?" asked Liara as Miranda checking Shepard.

"No. I'm a little worried at how long she has been in coma. I'm didn't like it because we won't know what's wrong until she wakes up. With her implants, she should have wakes up by now."

"She will be fine right?"

"I won't know until she's wakes up." said Miranda as she finished checking Shepard.

"She will wake up." said Hannah Shepard as she walk into the room Shepard been treated.

"You must be Shepard mother, Hannah Shepard." said Miranda as she looks at Hannah where she can see a few resemblances with Shepard.

"I wanted to be here sooner but duty comes first… It always has been something that tore us apart."

"It's not my place to judge, Admiral."

"You must be Miranda Lawson, former Cerberus operatives and the woman responsible for Lazarus project."

"I see you have been brief."

"It's one good thing to be Rear Admiral. But I don't seem to recall any Asari." said Hannah as she look at Liara.

"I'm Liara T'Soni." introduce Liara.

"It's nice to meet you, Ms. T'Soni."

"It's Dr. T'Soni but you can just call me Liara."

"So Liara, you must be a part of the Normandy crew?"

"Yes."

"And you must be Grace girlfriend that I heard so much about from everyone except from my own daughter mouth."

"I…" Liara tried to find a way on how to response to Hannah question before she's being interrupted.

"No need to say anything. I'm sure she wanted to introduce us in better circumstances and given everything that happened in the past 3 years, she just can't find that time yet... Truth to be told, I'm surprised to hear the news but she never fall to anyone so easily. You must be very special. But we talk about that in some other time." said Hannah as she realized Liara having a hard time replying to her question. Well more like a statement rather than a question.

"Very well." replied Liara as she breathes a sigh of relief. This definitely is not the way she imagine meeting Shepard mother.

Hannah take a few steps forwards towards her daughter bed before lean down to plant a kiss on Shepard forehead.

"Come on, Grace. Don't make a mother outlive her daughter. Not again…" whisper Hannah to Shepard ear.

* * *

It has been 30 days since the Reapers war ended. The Citadel has been moved back to Widow System in Serpent Nebula by the scientist working on The Crucible project. Most of the species that involved in the final battle on Earth has gone back to their homeworld to help the rebuilding effort. But for other species on the Normandy crew, they have decided to pay Shepard a visit first before returning to their homeworld.

"Shepard sure does like her beauty sleep." remarks Ashley as she trying to break the awkward silence in the room.

"Never thought I see the day the queen of the girl scouts this quite." said Jack as she trying to cheer up the room that falls dead silent as soon as the crew saw Shepard body just laying on the bed, motionless while being hooked by wires that making sure she's received enough nutrition's and monitaring her vitals.

"Are you going to wake her up?" asked Tali to Miranda who checking on Shepard implants.

"It is best to let her wake up on her own." replied Miranda.

"We need to remember that Shepard didn't have enough rest ever since Cerberus rebuilt her. With all the responsibilities the galaxy put on her shoulder, she deserve some time out." add Dr. Chakwas as she examine the datapad containing Shepard medical records.

As the crew busying chatting up, Liara saw Shepard fingers moves slowly before Shepard slowly opens her eyes.

"Shepard!" yell Liara as she watches Shepard slowly open her eyes.

"Commander?" said Miranda as she watches closely.

"…Where am I…" mutter Shepard

"You're in the hospital." answered Dr. Chakwas.

"…You're my doctor?" asked Shepard.

"I… Shepard, didn't you know who I am?" asked Dr. Chakwas in a worried look.

"Should I?"

Shepard respond got Dr. Chakwas and Miranda look at each other eyes.

"Do you recognize anyone in this room?" asked Miranda.

"No…"

* * *

**A/N : Okay guys, that's the end of chapter 1! I hope it's good and yes, I have to end it in a cliffhanger. So this chapter is sort of my own take on what I'm feeling leading to the final assault and what I felt when all of this take place in the game. Anyway next chapter should fill in some details I decided to leave, such as what Liara felt when Shepard said she didn't recognize anyone. Next chapter will also see Maddison made her appearance with a slight different profession she had in Forever After. And for those who wondering if there will be a happy ending to this story, the answer is yes. But before we go to the happy ending let's see when Shepard going to remember Liara and who will steal Shepard from Liara and if Liara can make Shepard fall in love with her again. Even though I said there will be a happy ending, it's not necessarily has to be both of them get married and live forever after. If you want that kind of ending well just read my story title, Forever After… **


	2. Revelation

**A/N : First of all I would like to say thank you for all the response I got for this story. It made me really happy. If you all like it, keep leaving me your reviews and give this story a follow so you will be notify once I up the new chapter. So without further ado... Here the new chapter.**

* * *

Chapter 2 : Revelation

It has been 3 days since Shepard woke up and saying she didn't remember anything for the past few years. Miranda Lawson and Dr. Chakwas have tried to understand why she forgetting the last few years of her life and they didn't come into any conclusion. Her implant is perfectly fine and both the Alliance and the Council has agreed to send in best psychiatrist in the galaxy to examine Shepard but Hannah refused all of them. She didn't trust any of them and there's only one person in her mind that she know can help her daughter remember again.

"Admiral Shepard." greets a blonde girl in blue blouse behind her.

"I thought I made it clear that you can call me Hannah. That is if you want me to call you Dr. Sinclair?" said Hannah as she turns around from looking through the window overlooking the city being rebuilt.

"Well… I thought since you bring me here as a psychiatrist, I should call you by your rank."

"Nonsense Maddison. I bring you here not only because you're a psychiatrist but also as Grace best friend. I thought she will open up more to you than a stranger."

"So… How is she?"

"Other than forgetting everything in the past few years? Her recovery is going well. Though despite she only woke up 3 days ago, she already anxious on working again."

"Still the same old Grace…" chuckle Maddison.

"Before you go see her, I just want to say it's nice to see a familiar face survived the war. I'm sure Grace is going to be happy when she sees you."

"I guess what Grace thought me all those years really help me… How's Mr. Shepard?

"You mean Arthur? He got graze by a bullet when he helped out the Alliance on the final battle but he's fine now. Now he busy rebuilding the family business and help fund rebuilding effort on Earth."

"Sometimes I forgot how rich Shepard's family is."

"That business is from Arthur parents. On my side of family, life was rough and when I joined the Alliance things got better. Grace is lucky that I met her father when he was still in the Alliance so she doesn't have to go through what I had to."

"Has he visits Grace yet?"

"No. I think he still scared that Grace still mad at him."

"Even if she did, I'm sure she will be happy to see him, given the circumstances."

"You probably right. I see if I can change his mind this time around.

"So you didn't tell her I'm coming?"

"Let just say it's my surprise for her. After everything, she deserves it."

"Roger that." said Maddison before she starts walking towards where Shepard room is.

When Maddison arrived in front of Shepard room, she just stood there watching Shepard deep in thought as she's eating her lunch.

"I'm pretty sure your mom used to tell you not to play with your foods." said Maddison as Shepard startled hearing her best friend voice.

"What are you going to do? Tell my mom?" said Shepard with a smile.

"No, but I won't let you live down the fact I managed to startled you."

"That was lucky."

"Whatever you say." said Maddison as she sit down next to Shepard.

"What bring you here?" asked Shepard after she took a sip of orange juice.

"Oh you know, I was in the neighborhood."

"Of course you are… I guess my mom called you?"

"Yes. She thought by having me here, you will more relax and maybe I could help you remember the last few years. But as your best friend maybe it's better if you don't…"

"Why's that?"

"What you go through is not something worth to live through it again. But I will help you remember again for one reason."

"What reason?"

"It's something you have to remember yourself."

* * *

After spending a few hours talking with her best friend, Maddison head straight to a café a few blocks from the hospital as she was instructed through an e-mail she received before she visited Shepard. The email came from Dr. Liara T'Soni, a name Maddison heard of before.

"You must be Dr. T'Soni." greet Maddison to an Asari who look deep in thought as she examining the datapad in her hand.

"You can call me, Liara. You must be Dr. Sinclair?" said Liara as she signals her guest to sit in the empty chair in front of her.

"Just call me Maddison, please."

"Thank you for coming. I wasn't sure if you will come."

"Maybe if I never heard of your name before I won't be coming."

"You heard of my name?" asked Liara in surprise.

"Grace, I mean, Shepard mention your name a lots in her email to me."

"I'm sorry I can't say the same.'

"No worry. I know Shepard. She never has been the one who talk about her personal life. The only reason she mention your name because I asked her to tell me about you."

"How did you know?"

"I know Shepard since we were 8 years old. I know when she's happy, stress or otherwise. After all I am a psychiatrist. Anyway how did you know about me if Shepard never mention of me?"

"I have my resources."

"Well Shepard did say you are a great information broker and a Prothean expert."

"What did Shepard told you about me?"

"Oh, I made sure she told me everything. But that wasn't the reason I'm here, isn't it?"

"No… How is she?"

"She's doing alright, considering. Why didn't you go see her?"

"I can't… It's hard seeing her there and knowing she didn't remember me. I guess it's better than have her die again." said Liara as she looks at the datapad in her hand.

"What are you looking at?" asked Maddison.

"This picture was taken after a party we had at Shepard apartment in the Citadel. This was the last picture I have with her…" answered Liara as she shows Maddison the datapad.

"She looked genuinely happy here. And that look of her face, she clearly deeply in love with you."

"Can you make Shepard remember again?"

"From my examination, I believe her brain just decided to hide all the things she went through the past few years. I'm not going to blame her brain for doing that. What she went through is something no one should have. But yes, I believe she will eventually remember."

"What if… I meld with her?"

"I would against that. I want her to remember it naturally. Some things can't be recovers just by showing them pictures, videos or in this case through the meld. She needs to remember it herself. So she knows exactly what she felt when she went through it. For example if you show her what you two had, she may believe it or think you are crazy. Even if she believe it, there's no assurance that she still feel the way she did because all you ever did is show your memories with her. She may felt the feeling you two were feeling through the memories but it's possible that she will think that what you want her to believe. It's best for her to remember everything again by herself, along with what she felt when she went through that memories."

"I see…" said Liara as a disappointment can be heard through her voice.

"There's a saying in human. It said "If you love someone, set them free. If it come back they're yours, if they don't they never were". She came back from death itself and she still loves you. I don't see a reason why she won't remember you again. It will take time, but you have all the time in the galaxy to wait for Shepard to remember you again." assure Maddison.

"Even if I do, there's no telling if Shepard have all the time in the galaxy to remember me."

"I'm sure before she draws her last breath, she will remember you. I will make sure of that."

"You can't possibly promise me that."

"I promise you. If I can't do it as her psychiatrist, I will do it as her best friend."

"Thank you." said Liara as she managed to smile a little.

* * *

Today would be Shepard last day at the hospital as Miranda and Dr. Chakwas has agreed that Shepard could continue her recovery at home. Shepard father, Arthur has dropped by for a brief moment to asked Shepard to continue her recover at their family estate house. It's a proposal Shepard couldn't refuse as it will give her some privacy.

"So are we going to have sleepover at your house tonight?" asked Maddison as she came to visit Shepard for the day.

"Do I even have a choice?" answered Shepard as she know her best friend request it rather than asking for permission.

"Not really. Unless you don't want to recovers your memories?"

"You know I do. All this media frenzy is driving me crazy. I didn't have a slight clue of what they are talking about when they saw me."

"Well, you are the savior of the galaxy. Whether you remember it or not, it's a fact. Soon enough they are going to build a statue in you honor. You know what, scratch that, they are going to build statues in your honor."

"Please, don't. At least not until I actually remember what I did rather than knowing it from what people are telling me."

"Couldn't agree more… So your dad dropped by yesterday?"

"Yeah. He wanted me to stay at our family estate. Well more like a command. It's not a proposal I could refuse anyway. It's a great place to have some peace and quiet for a change."

"All this not quite enough?" asked Maddison jokingly as she point around the silent room they are at.

"You know what I'm talking about."

The two friends continue their conversation slash therapy session before a slight knock on the door interrupt both of them.

"You can come in." said Maddison on behalf of Shepard.

As the door open, it reveals Liara standing in front of the room. Without even realizing it, Shepard heart skips a beat as soon as she saw Liara.

"Commander Shepard…" greet Liara as she walk towards Shepard and Maddison.

"I'm sorry. I still didn't quite remember your name."

"It's Liara T'Soni, you idiot." said Maddison without she even realizing the words that coming out of her mouth.

"Who are you calling an idiot?" asked Shepard as she was shocked hearing what her best friend just said.

"No one… That just stupid of me." said Maddison.

"I am so sorry for my best friend behalf. She has a knack of acting weird when she gets over excited." said Shepard.

"No, I do not."

"Speak for youselves."

"You two are still acting like kids." said a man in doctor uniform standing in the door frame.

"Hey Matt." greet Maddison as she saw Shepard former fiancée.

"Maddy, Grace…" nod Matt as he walks towards them.

"You do know that she going to kill you when you call her, Maddy." said Shepard.

"Opss. Sorry Maddison."

"Apology accepted." said Maddison

Realizing she's suddenly out of place, Liara slowly try to leave before being stop.

"Where are you going Liara?" asked Shepard as her right hand reach over Liara left arm. That action may seem nothing to Shepard, but for Liara it made her heart skips a beat.

"I…"

"I'm so sorry. Let's start over. Liara, this is Maddison, my best friend since I was 8 years old. This guy who 'pretending' to be a doctor is Matt. He and I… well we have history."

"I am not pretending to be a doctor." said Matt feeling a little offended.

"Oh, you know what she meant." said Maddison as she shoved him lightly.

"I feel like I don't belong here as you know who they are and not me." said Liara.

"I do know you. Well before I forget everything… I'm sure we are close friend."

"Yes… We are."

"So why didn't you stay here? We can talk a bit and maybe I will remember something from our time together? It seems to work when I talked with Dr. Chakwas and Miranda the other day."

"You remembered Dr. Chakwas and Miranda?" asked Liara.

"Yes. Well not all of it. With Dr. Chakwas, I seem to remember everything. With Miranda, I remembered how cold she was the first time I met her and how it changed when we saved her little sister. I still didn't remember the part when I first woke up from being 'rebuilt' by her though."

"Among other things." add Maddison.

"Now, who pretending to be a doctor?" said Matt jokingly.

"Hey! I am a doctor."

"A shrink more like it."

"Now who acting like kids?" said Shepard.

"Oh, shut it, Grace." said Matt.

"I thought when human separate from their partner, thing can be uneasy?" asked Liara as she saw how close Shepard with her ex-fiancée.

"Well for us, we chose our career than what we felt about each other. Neither one of us are willing to see one of us sacrifice our career for each other. So we decided it's best if we broke our engagement." explain Matt.

"There was no bad blood between us. Things can be a little awkward at times but no more than that." said Shepard.

"That what happen when two best friend fall in love. I'm happy that their friendship didn't get ruin when they broke up." add Maddison.

"Best friend?" asked Liara in confusion.

"We were best friend for two years before we realized both of us have a feeling for each other. We end up dating for a year or so and then we got engaged a few months after my N7 training. When I got a new order as the Normandy executive officer and Matt got an offer from big private hospital in the United States, both of us decided to break our engagement to give way for our careers." answered Shepard.

"We thought with Grace now a Commander and XO of the most advance ship in the entire galaxy and my career start to take a turn, it's best if we pursue our careers first." add Matt.

"When we met, you just broke up with Matt?" asked Liara.

"What? No! I think… I got early notice about 6 months prior I got station aboard the Normandy."

"Why so touchy so suddenly?" asked Maddison.

"What? I'm not… I don't know… I just have a weirdest feeling ever."

"You still didn't remember anything about Liara?" asked Maddison as she switched from being Shepard best friend to her doctor.

"No."

"Hmm… Maybe subconsciously you remember something?"

"This is not what happened with Dr. Chakwas and Miranda."

"It's not necessarily you will remember just because you look at them long enough or they tell you a story enough time."

"So what this means?"

"That is for you to figure out."

Shepard, Liara, Matt and Maddison continue to have conversations for a few hours more before Liara excuse herself. Matt also left a few minutes later as his shift started. With only Shepard and Maddison left, they continue their therapy session but Shepard still didn't remember a single thing about Liara.

* * *

It has been 2 months now since Shepard wakes up and didn't remember a single thing over the past few years. Her session with Maddison has helped her remember a few things and now she mostly remember her crew members but still didn't have a slightest clue over Liara despite she can feel something different whenever she saw Liara.

For Liara, it was hard seeing her bondmate didn't even remember even a tiny detail about her. She has decided to stay on Earth a little bit longer in a hope of having Shepard remember her in the near future. Mostly she just doesn't want to leave Shepard because there is something that she needed to tell her.

"Hey kid."

Liara was startled by her father as she waiting for her father arrival at a dock. Aethyta has decided to check on her daughter as she refused to go back to Thessia.

"You're thinking about the great Commander Shepard?" asked Aethyta as she sits next to Liara in the arrival lounge.

"Something you need to tell me?" asked Aethyta as Liara didn't respond to her previous question.

"No." answered Liara. Her voice was low and barely just above a whisper.

"So that kid I feel inside you is just my imagination?"

"How did you know?" asked Liara in surprise.

"All Matriarch and Justicar can sense when other Asari pregnant… Shepard is the father?"

"Yes…"

"Did she know?"

"No."

"Why?"

"I only found out about it a few days after she'd wake up. I didn't tell her because she didn't even remember me…" said Liara as she starts to cry.

"Shush now kid… She will remember you." console Aethyta as she hugs her daughter.

* * *

"Hey, Grace. What for dinner today?" asked Maddison as she walk into the living room where Shepard at.

Shepard didn't respond to Maddison question as she just sits there in the sofa holding something and clearly deep in thought.

"Earth to Shepard?"

"Huh?"

"What are you holding in your hand?" asked Maddison as she settles in the sofa in front of Shepard.

"I found this among the things my mother got from my apartment on the Citadel." answered Shepard as she show Maddison a ring with a beautiful gems on it.

"Beautiful gems. What is it? It's not a diamond or any gems that we usually found on Earth."

"I don't know but somehow I have a feeling in the back of my head that I know what is it."

"So?"

"Did someone propose to me or I was the one who going to do it?"

"I don't know, buddy."

"Don't tell me I never tell you?"

"Oh you did but I'm not going to tell you anything."

"Come on, Maddison."

"As your best friend, I would love to tell you but as your doctor I don't recommend it."

"Enough with this best friend/doctor thing. I need to know, Maddison." said Shepard in frustration.

"Listen, Shepard. You need to know? Then remember it yourself. I'm not going to tell you about it. I want you to remember it. Even if I tell you about it, it's not going to help you unlock your past memory. There are some things that better you remember it yourself than believing what people talking about it. This is such a thing… You love someone, Grace. If I simply tell you who and you don't remember anything, what going to happen? You have to remember it yourself." explain Maddison.

"I guess I can see your point."

"I know it's frustrating, Grace. But you will remember. You have done a great progress so far. All you need is time and eventually you will remember everything."

* * *

**A/N : So how am I doing? This is probably the most complicated chapter I ever done so far so I hope you guys understand what I'm trying to tell here. If not please tell me and I will do my best to explain it to you or make you guys understand it in the future chapters. In the next chapter I will try to explain Arthur a bit more as I decided to introduce Maddison and Matt first. Anyway I have set a target that by chapter 5, Shepard will finally remember. That's is the fastest you going to get it but if I found any idea that will need to delay Shepard from remembering, I will give way to that idea first. Anyway even if Shepard remembers, this does not mean that I will put a stop to this story. I will continue to happy ending or doing a 'damage control', depending on how and when Shepard remembers it and how much damage has been done. Or maybe a bit of both because I'm enjoying writing this story as some of my ideas that doesn't seem appropriate for Forever After, I can just write it here… For my readers than been following Forever After, I promise you that I'm working on a new chapter for the story so that means I will put a hold on this story until I update Forever After. **


	3. Heartache

**A/N : I'm just going to tell you guys this… Prepare yourself for a cliffhanger by the end of this chapter. Also there will be some scene that going to be playing with your feeling. Well I think that's a fair warning… So without further ado…**

* * *

Chapter 3 : Heartache

Two more weeks has gone by. Two more weeks has gone by without Shepard remembering about what she felt towards Liara T'Soni. Liara slowly losing her faith and hope that Shepard will ever remember her and worst, now her daughter would never feel the love Shepard will pour her with. This is worst than having Shepard die… All dark thoughts flooded Liara mind as she sit at a restaurant near her apartment that she rented. She didn't even realize someone approaching her before sit in front of her.

"Hey, Liara." greet Shepard as she saw Liara sit alone in the restaurant on her way to someplace else.

"…Shepard." said Liara as she was surprised seeing the person in front of her.

"You're eating alone for lunch today?"

"Yes. Well… I'm not really alone."

"What do you mean?"

"I… I'm pregnant…"

"Really? Well I'm happy for you. Congratulations! Who's the lucky guy? Well you know what it's not my place to pry."

"No. It's okay. I…" before Liara could say what she wants to say, she suddenly having a headache."

"Are you okay? You don't look so good." asked Shepard worryingly.

"I feel lightheaded…"

"Come on, let's go see a doctor."

"It's okay, Shepard. I'm fine."

"No. You're not fine, Liara. Come on, I will get you home."

"But I haven't eaten yet."

"I will cook something for you at your apartment."

"But there's nothing in my apartment."

"Then I will go buy some ingredients from the grocery store. Now no more arguing, you either let me get you home willingly or I will drag you."

Liara finally give up and let Shepard send her to her apartment. Shepard then rush to the nearest grocery store to buy some ingredients and she return home 10 minutes later.

"You can just order the food from the restaurant, you know." said Liara as she watch Shepard preparing to cook.

"There's no Asari food at that restaurant." said Shepard as she starts cooking.

"You know how to cook Asari food?"

"Yes. I got this recipe from Mess Sergeant Gardner… Honestly I have no idea why I asked for Asari food recipe. I felt like there's a reason why I asked him for the recipe, maybe because it tasted good?"

"How much do you remember?"

"From what Maddison told me, I know half of everything already. I also remembered that I met you on Therum. I saved you from Prothean stasis. But that's about it."

"I see…" said Liara as a hint of disappointment could be heard from her voice.

"So what make you stay on Earth?"

"There something I need to do here."

"Yeah, like what?"

"You won't believe me if I told you."

"Try me."

"I… I can't. I'm sorry, Shepard."

"Very well then… Well if you not having anything plan for tomorrow, I could show you some sight around here."

"I would love that."

"Good then. I pick you up at 9 am?"

"That sounds good." replied Liara with a small smile.

"Well I'm all done with the food. Now I need to excuse myself or I will be late for my lunch date with Matt." said Shepard as she turn off the stove.

"A lunch date with Matt?" asked Liara as she start to feel uneasy.

"Yes. Matt thought it would be nice if we could do something normal for a change. Well I better go now. See you tomorrow?"

"Yes."

As Shepard out of the door, Aethyta who has been watching the whole scene unfold silently, stand beside Liara.

"Father. How long have you been here?" asked Liara in surprised.

"Long enough to hear you still didn't tell her about who's the father of the baby you're carrying."

"I couldn't bring myself to tell her."

"You want me to tell her?" asked Aethyta as she walks toward the stove.

"Please don't. I can't have her hate on our daughter."

"How do you know she will hate the baby?"

"Please father. It's my decision. I'm not going to tell her about the father of the baby until she remembers our love."

"If you're going to be here forever, she going to figure it out herself. And I don't think she won't think of you as a crazy person. So why don't you go back to Thessia, little wing? Give her some space."

"I would think about it, father."

"Well that kid sure knows how to cook. I never taste other species cook an Asari food this good." said Aethyta as she taste the food Shepard prepared.

* * *

After leaving Liara apartment, Shepard rushed to a meeting place she agreed to meet Matt. It's a park near the hospital Matt work at and also at a walking distance from Liara apartment.

"Hey Matt. I'm sorry for being late." said Shepard as she sits down next to Matt.

"No worry. I just got off from work anyway."

"So what are we doing here?"

"Well I planned to have a lunch slash picnic here but since I didn't have any time to prepare anything, I really have no idea what we should do."

"That's very romantic, Matt." chuckle Shepard.

"Well… I wasn't planning on being romantic but will peanut butter and jelly do for our lunch today? That's all I could find from the hospital break room."

"Who's PB&amp;J did you rob, Matt?"

"It may or may not be, Maddison." said Matt as he trying to stifle laughter.

"Well now I know where my PB&amp;J gone this morning."

"Now I know why it tasted so good."

"Now you just being charming." said Shepard as she push Matt jokingly.

"I couldn't help it. I'm a charming guy."

"Of course you are."

After a few minutes of quite but comfortable silent, Matt start being serious…

"Grace… I have been thinking ever since the war ended. How I truly feel. I never date anyone ever since we broke up. I couldn't love anyone else other than you. We should have tried instead of choosing our careers. I still love you, Grace." said Matt as he slowly reaches out to Shepard hand.

"Matt…"

"Just tell me that you have someone else and I will back off. If not, please. Don't shut me down."

"I… I don't know, Matt. I think I do but I don't remember."

"If that was the case, give me a chance. If you in love with someone, there's no way you won't remember who they are. That must be the first thing that you will remember but you didn't. It's a fate. We belong together, Grace."

"Matt… I…" before Shepard could finish her sentence, Matt kiss her on the lips. Instead of pushing him, Shepard ended up kissing Matt back.

* * *

After her so call lunch date with Matt, Shepard head back to her family estate. As soon as she stepped into the front yard, she could see her father looking over in the distance by the small lake they have around the estate. Shepard starts walking towards her father before she sits next to her father.

"How your lunch dated with Matt?" asked Arthur as her daughter sit next to her.

"We just talked, dad."

"Just talked… Next thing I know you two are going to get marry."

"Come on, dad. Why did you hate him so much? You seem to always find a fight with me."

"First, he's not worthy of you and second, I never find a fight with you."

"If he's not worthy of me, then who would? You always hate every guy that I dated. You always find a reason to hate them. And yes, you always find a fight with me. Remembered when you asked me to quit the Alliance and joined you with family business?"

"Someone who's worthy of you is someone who do anything to have you. Someone who will not going to choose their career over you. Someone who going to be patient with you and someone who always going to be there for you… The reason I wanted you to leave the Alliance because that job going to kill you, and it already did! If not because of what Cerberus did, I don't have a daughter anymore."

"Come on, dad. We both made the decision and I couldn't ask him to do anything."

"You don't have to ask him to do anything. If he loves you, he will do it himself. When I married your mother, I always knew that if either one of us going to have a career, it will always be your mother... You're just like your mother, you love your job too much to put it behind your personal life. When you find someone who going to put you over their career or when you find someone you willing to sacrifice your job, then you find the one. But Matt is not the one."

"…Maybe I already find someone…"

"What do you mean?"

"I found a ring among my stuff mother got from my apartment on the Citadel. If I'm willing to marry that person in the middle of the war…"

"Then you find the one. Who's the lucky person?"

"I don't know… I still can't remember anything about I'm falling in love with someone. But I feel like I know who that is but I just can't put my finger on it. It's like you seeing someone before but you couldn't place where you see them before."

"Why don't you ask Maddison?"

"That's the problem. She didn't want to say anything about it. It's so frustrating."

"Why don't you confront her about it?"

"I don't want to start a fight with her."

"It's your choice, Grace."

"Dad… Didn't you ever regret leaving the Alliance?"

"No. I joined the Alliance because your grandfather thought it will teach me discipline and leadership. Two most important things that your grandfather thought are important for me to learn before I ready to take over the family company… But it didn't mean I didn't enjoy my time with the Alliance. I met your mother and it helped me survive the war."

"Dad, do you think it's better if I didn't remember the last few years of my life?"

"After what you see and went through? I have to say yes. But would it be better of not knowing it? People are telling you left and right what you did, it better to remember it than listening to what people are telling you."

"I hate not knowing. For most part of the time, I don't even know what they were talking. But the worst part is the look of some people face when I didn't remember something. It's like I forgot something that matter so much to them…"

"You will remember, Grace. It just a matter of time." said Arthur as he give her daughter a hug.

* * *

At 9 am sharp, Shepard already waits in front of Liara apartment. She waste no time to ring the bell and a few seconds later, Liara open the front door and looking gorgeously. As Shepard saw Liara, she feel herself couldn't breathe as soon as her eyes saw Liara at the front door.

"…You look great, Liara." said Shepard after a few seconds of silent.

"Thank you."

"So… Are you ready to go?"

"Yes." said Liara as she step out from the front door and lock it.

"Where are we going?" asked Liara as she followed Shepard to a sky car park nearby.

"That a surprise. I hope you didn't eat anything heavy from breakfast."

"No. Why?"

"You will know more once we arrive."

After 30 minutes of ride on the sky car, they finally arrived.

"Wow. This place is beautiful." said Liara as she got out from the sky car.

"This is my favorite place to go whenever I'm on Earth… I found this place when I was on a hike. I never take anyone here before. You're the first person that I show this place."

Shepard took out a basket and a backpack and head out a few foot forwards from where she parked the sky car. Shepard finds a place near the waterfall but not close enough to get wet from the waterfall and she start to place the blanket from her backpack on the ground around a small stream before set down the basket and start to sit down. After looking around the place, Liara finally sit down next to Shepard.

"Thank you for bringing me here, Shepard."

"The pleasure is all mine… Honestly I have no idea why I want to bring you here. My heart has been begging me to take you here… Every time I'm around you, I feel safe, comfortable and there's nothing that worry me. I know that sound weird but it just a feeling that I had."

"No. It's not weird at all." said Liara as a small smile appears.

"I prepared some sandwiches. After we eat them I will take you on a little hike." said Shepard as she get 2 sandwiches and napkins from the basket.

After both of them done eating, Shepard took Liara on a little hike through the forest around where they picnic. After 5 minutes of hiking they are on top of the waterfall they saw from their picnic place.

"Come on, there's another great place just across this stream. The waters aren't too deep but the rocks can be very slippery. If you don't want to get wet, you better not fall."

"I never did anything like this before."

"What if you walk first and I follow you from behind to make sure you won't fall? Just take it slow and easy. And don't worry, I will catch you if you fall." reassure Shepard.

Liara slowly step into the first rock and before long Liara find no problems of crossing the stream until they are in the middle. As Liara want to hurriedly across the stream, she didn't step into one of the rock properly and as she just about to fall into the water, Shepard instinctively hug her from behind and as both of them fall into the water with Shepard taking the most of the fall.

"Are you alright, Shepard?" asked Liara worryingly as both of them still in the water.

"I think I'm fine. How about you? Wait! Your baby?" asked Shepard in panic.

"I'm fine, Shepard. You take most of the fall."

"This is such a bad idea. What was I thinking?" said Shepard as she beating herself.

"Don't beat yourself up, Shepard. I have a great time." reassure Liara as she put her hand on Shepard shoulder.

"Are you sure the baby is okay? We should go to the hospital." said Shepard as she still worry.

"I am fine, Shepard. We Asari could feel the baby inside us and she is fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." said Liara as she put both of her hands on top of Shepard shoulders.

As both of them getting so close with each other, both of them look at each other eyes before they slowly lean in close. As both of their lips only a few inches apart, Shepard omni-tool beeping. Shepard instantly back down and Liara rubs her temple in disappointment.

"Shepard here." said Shepard as she answered her omni-tool.

"Hey buddy. Forgetting something?" said Maddison as holo of her appear on Shepard omni-tool.

"Like what?"

"Like your doctor appointment? The Alliance needs you to do a final medical evaluation before you're back on duty."

"Damn. I forgot."

"I figure that out… I'm not interrupting anything do I?" said Maddison apologetically as she can see Liara with Shepard.

"See you at the hospital, Maddison." said Shepard as she hang up.

"I'm sorry about that."

"You're back on duty?"

"Yes. I should start next week. That is if my medical examination didn't show any problem other than the fact I still didn't quite remember the last few years of my life"

"I see…"

"I really am sorry about all this, I promise I will make it up for you tomorrow?"

"I can't."

"What do you mean, you can't? Was it because of that almost kiss? I really am sorry about that. I don't know what got into me."

"No… It wasn't about that. I'm leaving for Thessia tomorrow."

"You leaving for Thessia?" said Shepard in disappointment.

"I've been here long enough and nothing really changes. At least not something that I have hoped."

"What didn't change?"

"It's nothing."

"Please, tell me. Maybe I can help?" asked Shepard as you could hear a desperation in her voice.

"You are."

"What that supposed to mean?"

"Please, Shepard. Just get me home." said Liara as tears threatening to spill.

45 minutes later, Shepard set down the sky car near Liara apartment. The whole ride home fills with awkward silent. As Liara got out from the sky car, Shepard could only watch her as she still puzzled on Liara reaction before. When Liara got to her apartment, the tears she's been holding start to spill as she cry on what happened. She was so closed on getting the love of her life back but she still so far away. She could sense that Shepard is in love with someone else when she was touching her. And she could feel that Shepard didn't have the same feeling she had before she forgot everything in the last few years.

* * *

**A/N : First of all I am sorry for this short shorter than the last 2 chapters but I hope it still a good chapter. Secondly I want to say sorry if there are some emotions I'm not successfully deliver. Anyway to answer any question you may had, I just want to say that Shepard still didn't actually remember who Liara is even though she could feel something different when she's with Liara. I will explain or make more sense of that in future chapters. I also want to say that it's not my intention to make Shepard as a jerk or a player or whatever that pops into your head. I mean by kissing Matt back and that almost kissing part with Liara. But I couldn't help but to have that almost kissing part with Liara. Also I want to have Shepard have this conflict of interest of still in love with her ex-fiancée but also have this indescribable feeling towards Liara. But I would explain it further in future chapters. Anyway let me think what you guys think about this chapter.**


	4. Figuring It Out

**A/N : Sorry for this late chapter. I was having problem figuring out how to do this chapter. This took a lot longer than I expected and harder than I thought. Anyway since I'm so happy since my favorite artist new album just came out, I'm going to make Shepard remember a little bit about Liara. I hope you guys enjoy the new chapter.**

* * *

Chapter 4 : Figuring It Out

After her medical evaluation, Shepard couldn't bother to know if she fit for duty or not as she just simply storm of the hospital as soon as she's done. Shepard head straight home before she send her best friend an email asking her to come meet her. Shepard decided to wait for her best friend near the small lake around her house. As she sits on the bench overlooking the small lake, Shepard let her mind wonder. She didn't even realize how many minutes pass by and the next thing she knew is her best friend already sitting next to her.

"I got your email. What the urgent? You didn't pass your medical examination?" asked Maddison as she settling in next to Shepard.

"I don't know…" answered Shepard as her eyes gaze the small lake in front of her like it will give her the answers she's been asking in her head.

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"I storm out of the hospital as soon as I'm done. I'm not even bothered to wait for the result."

"So why did you call me here?" asked Maddison as she not even bother to ask her best friend why she just storm out of the hospital.

"I need you to give me some answers. I need you to be honest with me."

"If it's regarding the last few years of your life, there's some I can and I can't tell you."

"Please Maddison. I need to figure out why I feel the way I feel right now."

"What did you feel?"

"In my head, Matt is still the love of my life. I don't know why we even decided to chose our careers ahead of our love. On the other hand, every time I spend time with Liara, I have this feeling that I could not just described. A feeling I never feel before. It felt stronger than a feeling when you're in love."

"What did you remember?"

"Since our last session? Nothing."

"You know brain is still something that confuses every single being in the galaxy. You thought by 21st century, we already figure out the brain but it stills something we just couldn't fully understand it… The brain is a funny thing. They have their own defense mechanism that will protect you by hiding some of your memories. But you never know if you will ever be able to remember that memories again."

"Your point is?"

"My point is your brain can hide all the feelings they want but they couldn't lie your heart on how you feel before. Those emotions we felt tend to stay with you for the rest of your life... Subconsciously you remembered her."

"And again, what is your point?"

"Don't you see? Your heart or actually subconsciously you remembered something that your brain still decided to hide. I can't believe you still can't connect all the dots."

"You mean?"

"Why do you think Liara stay here a lot longer than your other crew members? Why do you think she'd the first person you saw once you open your eyes?"

"But… She's pregnant."

"She's what? This is why I shouldn't say anything."

"You think… The baby…"

"Listen to me, Grace. First of all you cannot over think this. You have made great progress on recovering your memories. Now all you need is to find that one magic moment before you remember everything."

"I need to go see her." said Shepard as she tried to get up before being stopped.

"So you can tell her what? That you think you're the father of her baby but you still didn't remember a single thing about what you two had? You're going to hurt her more than comfort her."

"Then what am I supposed to do?!"

"Just live your life. You're going back to work next week and let just focus on that first. You need to figure it out. What you feel towards Liara and how you feel about Matt. Once you figure out both of the feelings, you can do whatever you want. But before that pretend like you didn't forget the last few years of your life. You need to feel sure about your feeling first, Grace. I can tell you whatever you want to know but I couldn't return your memories. Telling and remembering is two different things."

Shepard couldn't say anything to argue with her best friend because she knew, Maddison is right. There's nothing she could do except trying to figure out her feelings and remembering the last few years of her life.

* * *

Liara is back on Thessia with Aethyta. For the whole ride on the shuttle, Liara didn't say a word. Actually she didn't say a single thing ever since she got back from her 'date' with Shepard. Aethyta couldn't get her to tell her anything when she saw her daughter bawling her eyes out ever since she got back from meeting with Shepard.

For Liara, all the hope she kept ever since Shepard woke up and didn't remember the last few years, are all gone. There's no more hope in Liara eyes that the love of her life is going to remember her. When she first saw Shepard again after Cerberus rebuilt her, when she touched Shepard, she could sense that Shepard still love her. But now, she couldn't feel that anymore. Even there is that glimpse of love Shepard had for her, it's in the shadow behind Shepard feeling towards Matt.

Liara thought having Shepard alive even if she didn't remember her will be better than having Shepard die again. But there's no worst feeling that Liara could feel right now that knowing the love of her life may never remember her again and is in love with someone else. All Liara have of Shepard is the baby inside of her but even then Liara don't know if she could look at her daughter without remembering Shepard… The love she had with Shepard.

* * *

Shepard has been clear for duty and the Alliance has assigned her aboard the Normandy. Before reporting for duty, Shepard has agreed to meet with Matt at a park near where the Normandy dock. When she arrived, Matt is already waiting for her.

"Hey, Grace." greet Matt as she saw Shepard before plant a kiss on her cheek.

"Hey, Matt. I can't be here long."

"I know. Thank you for finding a time to meet though… It's been awhile since I saw you in your uniform."

"When you called, it sounded serious."

"I'm sorry if it made you worry but I really need to meet you… You never answered me when I asked you to give us another chance. I know that we kiss but I know it wasn't your answer either. I really want to make us work. I'm willing to sacrifice my career if that's mean you will be with me. I have no problem of you staying in the Alliance."

"What about your career?"

"As long as I work at a hospital or a clinic, I will be fine. As long as I have you." said Matt as he takes a small box out of his pocket.

"I bought this ring for you and I don't want anyone else to wear it. You don't have to give me the answer right away, all I need is you to think about it." add Matt as he open the small box and revealing a beautiful diamond ring.

"Matt…"

"No. Don't give me any excuse. Just take this ring and think about it. Please, Grace. I know you still feel the same way towards me. I still love you Grace and there's no one else that could take my heart the way you do."

"The last few years of my life are still vague in my mind. I think there is someone else and I couldn't give you an answer until I remember everything."

"I will be waiting for you, as long as you need to figure it out. I'm not going anywhere."

* * *

After the war, the Normandy has been ground side to do some repairs among other thing. It's back on duty a few weeks ago with Lieutenant Commander Ashley Williams acting as Commanding Officer. Most of the crew has stay aboard the Normandy only just a few lower ranking crew has been assigned to new duty aboard other ships.

"Welcome back, Commander." greet EDI through the Normandy speaker.

Despite what the Catalyst told Shepard, EDI, the Geth or the AI in general were not destroyed. They were some malfunction here and there but nothing that couldn't be repair. The same goes to the Mass Relay and the Citadel.

"Thank you, EDI." replied Shepard as she's head towards the bridge.

"Commander, it's nice to see you again. It's not the same having Ashley in charge." said Joker as he turn around the chair he sitting so he will be facing Shepard.

"It's good to be back." said Shepard with a smile before she's starting heading to the CIC.

"Commander." greet Traynor as Shepard stop beside her.

"Specialist Traynor. It's good to see you decided to stay aboard the Normandy. I'm surprised."

"I take it you remember me, Commander? Well what can I say, you rub off on me."

"Yes. I remember most of the things now."

"That's good to know, Commander."

After talking with Traynor, Shepard took the elevator to her cabin. She knew if there are any clues regarding her relationship with Liara, it had to be in her cabin. That is if the Alliance didn't move anything from her cabin. After the elevator door open, Shepard rushed towards her cabin door and after unlocking it she could see Ashley already waiting for her.

"Good to see you again, Skipper. I thought you were bailing on us."

"Me? Never. What are you doing here, Ash?"

"Just making sure the Alliance didn't move anything from your cabin. I make it clear that no one can touch anything in your cabin. I know that you will come up here to find clues."

"How do you know?"

"Dr. Sinclair told me. Listen Skipper, I don't know if anything in the cabin can help you remember Liara, but something in your apartment on the Citadel, may help you."

"Thank you, Ash." said Shepard as Ashley excuse herself and exit the Captain cabin.

Shepard look around the cabin and her fish clearly well feed by the aquarium VI she installed. Now that's money well spent, thought Shepard. Shepard then looks at collections of ships and she knew no one touch it. It's funny how she could remember where each of her collections of ships at but she can't remember other thing like who really is Liara T'Soni. Shepard then took a look at her space hamster cage. It surprised her how her hamster didn't run away like the last time.

After making sure her hamster is alright, Shepard approach her desk where a frame is. As she got close, a picture of Liara was shown on the frame. Shepard took the frame and look at the picture of Liara.

"I'm sorry, Liara. If you are the love of my life, I will remember you." promise Shepard in her heart.

* * *

After the Normandy arrived on the Citadel, Shepard was called to the council chamber alongside Ashley. Each councilor are alive as they were not on the Citadel when the Reapers seized the Citadel. But Councilor Sparatus were replaced by Councilor Quentius who are less hostile.

"Commander Shepard. On behalf of other councils, I want to say thank you for everything you did to defeat the Reapers." said Councilor Tevos.

"The reason we have you and Lieutenant Commander Williams here is to discuss with you two regarding the new human councilor." said Councilor Valern.

"The Alliance has sent two names who they think will do great as the new human councilor since Captain Anderson has turned down the offer to re-join the council." said Councilor Quentius.

"It's Admiral Steven Hackett and Rear Admiral Hannah Shepard. Both of them you know very well, Commander Shepard." add Councilor Tevos.

"But we have agreed to have you as the new human councilor, Commander Shepard. If you are willing." said Councilor Quentius.

"I'm humble by your offer but I will be respectfully turn it down. I think I'm done playing politician, for now. Whoever you choose for the seat, both are great soldier and leader. They will do human proud. But knowing Admiral Hackett, I will be very surprise if he agrees to join the council. It won't be easy for him to left his Fifth Fleet." said Shepard.

"What about you, Lieutenant Commander Williams?" asked Councilor Tevos.

"Commander Shepard knows both Admiral Hackett and Rear Admiral Shepard better than I do. But I agree with Commander Shepard, either way you couldn't do wrong." answered Ashley.

"Very well then. We will discuss more with the Alliance regarding the new human councilor. That would be all. Thank you for meeting us, Commander Shepard, Lieutenant Commander Williams." said Councilor Tevos.

"Well what I want to know is why the Alliance is yet to promote you, Shepard. You should be a Captain or Admiral by now." asked Ashley as they leave the council chamber.

"They are going to hold my promotion until I remember everything that happened on the Citadel.

"That is full of crap, Shepard."

"I really don't care, Ash. What I want right now is to remember the last few years of my life."

"You're going to your apartment, Shepard?"

"Yes. You can go back aboard the Normandy. Tell Joker to prepare for departure. As soon as I'm done looking around the apartment, we are going straight to Palaven."

"Roger that, Shepard." said Ashley as she headed towards docking bay D24.

After taking sky car to Silversun Strip, Shepard took the elevator up to her apartment that Anderson gave her in the hope of finding some clues regarding her relationship with Liara. After what people are telling her, she surprised to see her apartment or the Citadel for that matter of fact are still like it was before the war. Maybe the Reapers are more focus on stopping her than harvesting people on the Citadel. Thought Shepard as she take a look around the apartment.

There isn't much Shepard found in the apartment that could help her. Shepard then decided to turn on the TV near the bar when the first thing she saw was a picture of her and the rest of the crew. Shepard saw how in the picture she was looking at Liara and Liara was looking at her. That wasn't just any look, but a look of love. After transferring the picture to her datapad, Shepard started walking back to the front door when something lured her to the piano.

Shepard learned how to play keyboard when she was 10 years old or so but just for a few lessons and she doubt she remembered any of her lessons. But for some reason she just wanted to go near the piano. As she got closer, Shepard playfully playing a few keys before she's having a flashback.

**_*Glyph play a song on the piano*_**

**_"_****_Shepard, I…"_**

**_Shepard immediately grab Liara arm as she was about to walk away from her._**

**_"_****_What are you doing?"_**

**_"_****_Making sure you don't run off to something more important."_**

**_"_****_I can't imagine what that would be."_**

**_"_****_We should do this more often."_**

**_"_****_Yes, well. Maybe after…"_**

**_"_****_Every day after."_**

* * *

**A/N : I'm sorry for this super late and short chapter. But I can't think of better idea of finishing this chapter than having Shepard remember something about Liara. And I sort of finished this in a cliffhanger cause what that would mean? Did she finally remember Liara or it will complicate things? You are going to get the answer in chapter 5 and yes, I'm true to my promise because Shepard is going to remember everything in chapter 5. But not without some problems that are going to happen. So I think next chapter is going to be a lot longer and probably the longest chapter. Mostly this chapter is to give you more pieces of the puzzles and also to tell you that Shepard is trying to figure out her feeling towards Matt and Liara. **


	5. This Love

**A/N : This chapter took longer than I expected it to be. Probably because after every scene I keep figuring out how the next scene will go. Anyway first thing first I want to give a shout out to RED78910 for feeling the way I feel regarding Shepard/Matt and Shepard/Liara. Maybe in this story I didn't give much justice to Matt but if you read my other story you know what kind of person Matt is minus the reason why they broke up and the occasional being a jerk part. He actually such a nice guy and maybe he's not that charming but mostly what girl want is a guy who are nice, first and foremost. So I will keep my promise that Shepard will remember Liara in this chapter but that doesn't mean it will be a happy ending to Shepard and Liara. You want happy ending for both of them? Go read my other story, Forever After. But there still will be happy ending in this story but it won't be in this chapter or the next few chapters (maybe).**

**One last thing, I want to explain about my way of writing Shepard full name. If you read Forever After you know that I stated that I won't be using Shepard first name so much and I feel the same way for this story. Mostly because in my personal experience it get a little weird and annoying when I read other fan fictions where the author used their Shepard first name every time. I also want you can relate your Shepard to my Shepard. So I hope you understand why I will call Shepard as Shepard instead of her first name that I given. But Hannah, Arthur, Maddison and Matt will all called Shepard by her first name, Grace because well they are her parents/best friend/ex fiancée and they know her even before she joined the Alliance where your last name is your name and your rank is your first name. But I won't be writing Liara to call Shepard by her first name because Liara always called her by her last name and it also easy for all my readers to put their Shepard as my Shepard. I hope I made myself clear. So without further ado…**

* * *

Chapter 5 : This Love

It has been six weeks since Shepard having a flashback over one of her memories with Liara but that doesn't mean she remember everything about their relationship. Instead of giving her more answer, Shepard found herself having more question. In other hand her feeling towards Matt still genuine and she remembered everything about her history with Matt but in the other hand she only feel she have some sort of connection with Liara but for the life of her, she couldn't remember much about her relationship with the Asari.

That picture she saw of her and Liara, that look she gave, that was the same look she gave to Matt…

Shepard so deep in thought that she didn't even realize her mother approaches her. With the Normandy dock at the Citadel for a few days of shore leave, Shepard found herself looking over the presidium as she sit at one of the benches at the presidium.

"Hey Grace." greet her mother as she sit down next to her daughter.

"Mom. I didn't realize you were coming."

"Not a surprise since you looked so deep in thought… Is something bothering you, Grace?"

"I'm still trying to figure things out."

"Love is a complicated thing…"

"How did you know that dad was the one?" asked Shepard after a long silent.

"Before I met your dad, I didn't even bother about dating. Your dad was quite persistent and the next thing I know, he already kneeled on one knee and proposed to me."

"And yet you said yes."

"Where do you think you get your charm?"

"…Matt sort of proposed to me again."

"What did you say?"

"Nothing… He said he willing to wait for me until I figuring things out."

"Matt is a nice guy, Grace. Your dad and I know that he will take care of you but the most important thing is your happiness… I met Liara when you still in coma. She seems like a great girl."

"Yeah, she is."

* * *

After talking with her mother, Shepard headed towards her apartment. After a 5 minutes ride on the sky car, Shepard arrived at the Silversun Strip. She waste no time to head towards the elevator despite there some report stopping her to answer some question before they were being stop by a few C-Sec officer. After arriving at her apartment, Shepard head straight towards her home office and start searching her bookshelves.

Shepard wasn't expecting to find anything until she came across a piece of paper stuck out from one of the books. Shepard immediately grabbed the book and she open it to the page where the paper is before start reading what's on the paper.

**_Dear me, _**

**_If you're reading this either you finally clean up your bookshelves or something happen. But if it's not me as in Commander Grace Shepard, stop reading this! That's an order. But if something were happen to me than you may need to read this. But only to Dr. Liara T'Soni. No one else. _**

**_First I want to say Liara T'Soni, I love you with my whole heart. I'm sorry that I have to break my promise. I knew deep down that I will just do about anything to stop the Reapers even by sacrificing myself. I really want all those little blue babies but I couldn't leave you a galaxy where it's not safe for you to live in. I'm sorry if I hurt you but you will be better off without me. You have to believe me. We met when Saren threaten this galaxy peace and it wasn't a good place to start a relationship. Then you saw me got spaced out and you spend 2 years of your life mourning me._**

**_I shouldn't have tried to get you back but I love you so much that I couldn't just let you go. Now I think I'm being selfish but if after all of this I died again and being rebuilt again, I won't let you go through it again. I couldn't let you spend another years mourning me and then have me begging you again. I love you so much that I couldn't bear to see you get hurt again because of me. So please Liara, if you love me, let me go and find someone that will truly make you happy and will always be there for you. But always know that I will always love you, Liara._**

**_Shepard, if you're reading this and somehow in a new twist you survived the war and you forgot everything, don't ever remember who is Liara. Don't put her through it again. But if you're fine and alive, you better propose to her by now and leave the Alliance. Those 3 years of your relationship with Liara while fighting Reapers are enough. Don't put her in a spot where she have to worry if you ever get back alive from a mission again. _**

**_Truthfully,_**

**_Commander Shepard_**

**_Commanding Officer of the Normandy_**

**_Alliance Navy_**

**_Special Tactics and Reconnaissance_**

"Easy to say than do it, does it Grace?" thought Shepard as she finished reading the paper.

* * *

On Thessia, Liara already settles in with her father as she is now 5 months pregnant. She spends most of her time working on her Shadow Broker resources with Glyph. From time to time, Liara found herself using her resources to check in on Shepard. All she knows was Shepard back on duty and has been instructed to visits Palaven, Rannoch, Tuchanka and Thessia. It also comes to her attention that the Council has offered her the position as the new human councilor but she turned it down.

When she arrived on Thessia almost 7 weeks ago, she promised to start moving on because she knew there isn't any chance of Shepard will remember her. It's been too long and Shepard still found herself remember so little about her when she doesn't seem to have problem remembering others. Now all Liara want to do is to take care of her unborn daughter, the last good thing of her relationship with Shepard. But she couldn't help it but still thinking about Shepard.

She could deny it all day long but she still have a little hope left that Shepard will remember her and they will live together forever after like those fairytales on Earth. Mostly Liara want her daughter to know who Shepard is. Not just someone who save the galaxy but also as her daughter father and the love of her life. If Shepard will never remember her, Liara had to keep it a secret who's her daughter father is because she couldn't have Shepard hating their daughter.

After visiting Palaven, Rannoch and Tuchanka, it's time for the Normandy to visit Thessia. After 3 days of shore leave on the Citadel, the crews of the Normandy report back for duty.

"Hey Commander. You ready to head to Thessia?" asked Joker.

"Let me know when we arrive. I need to speak with Kenneth and Gabby." answered Shepard as she didn't want to think of the fact they are heading to Thessia.

"You think Shepard still have a hard time figuring out who Liara is?" asked Joker to his co-pilot slash girlfriend, EDI after Shepard leave the bridge.

EDI decided to answer Joker question with silence. Because for EDI, Shepard has been such a great friend and she didn't want to say anything that could hurt Shepard feeling or even make a joke about the situation Shepard is in.

"You're no fun, EDI."

As the Normandy leave the dock and head towards Thessia, Shepard already in the Engineering as she's need to talk with both of her engineers.

"Hey Shepard." greet Kenneth.

"Commander." greet Gabby.

"Kenneth, Gabby. There's something I need to discuss with you two. Apparently the Alliance has come across the news of you two are dating.

"I bet it's the new Ensign with the big mouth told the Alliance about us." said Kenneth madly.

"We don't know that." said Gabby as she tries to calm Kenneth down.

"Well, who else? We all know every one of the crew members here are very loyal and close like a family. We don't stab each other back. Not until the Alliance send us the new Ensign along 3 other lower ranks Enlisted."

"I'm not going to point finger until I know for sure. But don't worry. I argue that your relationship doesn't affect the chain of command. That is until one of you get promote, the Alliance agreed it won't be a problem. If one of you get promote, you two can't work together again." said Shepard.

"You argue on behalf of us, Commander?" asked Gabby.

"It's my job as your Commanding Officer. Listen, I'm happy for both of you and it's about time you two realized you're made for each other."

"It was thanks to you, Shepard." said Kenneth.

"Just make sure you two stay professional."

"Yes ma'am." said both Kenneth and Gabby.

* * *

The Normandy finally arrived on Thessia and Shepard wasted no time as he called Ashley and James to come with her meeting a few of Asari Matriarch. From what Shepard heard, Samara will be there too.

From the meeting, the Asari Matriarch wanted Shepard to oversee Asari commandos to give them a boost. It's basically the same job she had on Palaven, Rannoch and Tuchanka. Except in Rannoch, Shepard had to oversee some deal being made between the Geth and the Quarians.

"So different planet, same boring job huh?" said Ashley as she broke the silence.

"I don't get it. Why do they need to see Lola so they could get some morale boost?" add James.

"Because I saved the galaxy? Honestly I rather do desk duty than go to another planet and show my face for morale sake."

"You know Lola, you can always apply for N7 training instructor."

"So you can pass N7 training easily?"

"That would be nice."

"Dream on, James. Just because I know what you capable of, I won't be any easier with you."

"Trust me, Vega. You don't want Shepard as your N7 training instructor. My body still sore from that drill she did with the crews of Normandy SR-1." said Ashley.

"Oh that? That was nothing, Ash."

"What happened?" asked James dumbfounded.

"It was after the battle of the Citadel. On one of our routine patrol, Shepard decided it best if we do some drill. So we stopped at one of human colony planet to do the drill. None of the crew can move a finger the next day." explained Ashley.

"Don't tell me that worst compare to Joker attempt of a joke about that drill the next day."

"I would have killed him if my body still not sore from the drill."

Both Shepard and Ashley burst out laughing as they recalling that day while James still have no idea what actually happen.

"Shepard." call out Samara.

"Hey, Samara. Is there something else the Matriarchs want me to do?" answered Shepard as she finally stop laughing.

"No. I just come here to meet you and to say my happiness seeing you well."

"Thank you, Samara. It's nice to see you doing well too. How is Falere?"

"She is fine. The Matriarchs has agreed on rebuilding the Monastery again."

"That's good to hear." said Shepard before her eyes saw Liara.

"Liara!" call Shepard as she start to run towards Liara.

Liara could have sworn she heard Shepard voice but it also has been happening a lot ever since she arrived on Thessia. Everywhere she go, her mind always play trick with her and she expect nothing less this time around. But when she looked at where the voice came from, she saw Shepard run towards her.

"Sh…Shepard." said Liara as she suddenly feels light headed.

Shepard could see that something is wrong with Liara and before long Liara slowly falling but Shepard was in time to catch her before she could fall to the ground. With Liara in her arms and unconscious, Shepard grew worry before a headache makes her lost consciousness too. Before Shepard hit the ground, she could hear Ashley, James and Samara yelling her name before darkness overtook her.

* * *

Liara has been unconscious for more than 6 hours now and Shepard has been waiting next to Liara bed for the past 3 hours after waking up from her own faint. Dr. Chakwas was called upon when Shepard lost consciousness and when she woke up, Dr. Chakwas insist Shepard on having further examination but as always Shepard being stubborn as she reassured Dr. Chakwas that she is fine.

She is more worried about Liara and the baby as the headache which resulting her loss consciousness was the way her brain returned her memories. Shepard is now crystal clear about her feeling towards Liara and Matt but she also knows what she read from the piece of paper she found at her apartment. There is decision to be made and she wasn't certain what will be the best. But she knows one thing for certain, she going to be there for the baby. No matter what.

As Shepard still figuring out what future hold for her and Liara, Liara is slowly starting to regain consciousness.

"Hey Liara…" greet Shepard as Liara regain consciousness.

"…Shepard… What are you doing here?" asked Liara as she saw Shepard waiting beside her bed.

"I worry about you… And the baby."

"Why would you worry? You don't even know who I am." said Liara with a hint of hurt can be heard in her voice.

"…I guess I deserved that. But I remembered everything now. I am so sorry, Liara. You could hate me all you want but don't make me abandon my duty as the father of your baby."

"But… How did you know?"

"Unless you find someone else to love during the war, I couldn't think of anyone else who could be the father of your baby."

"Shepard… I... I didn't plan for this."

"Are you saying you don't want the baby?" asked Shepard feeling a little sad as she think that Liara really hate her if she didn't even want the baby.

"NO! That's not what I meant. When I found out that I'm pregnant, I was afraid you won't approve. I was afraid that you will hate our daughter."

"That's nonsense. I love you Liara and I want to have little blue babies with you. I meant what I said before."

"What about Matt?"

"What about him?"

"I could sense that you love him."

"I… I'm not going to lie. I never thought about my feeling towards Matt in a very long time. When we broke up, I wasn't expecting to fall in love again until I met you. But not once I think about Matt when I was with you. He was my past until… recently. But I love you Liara, I always do. And I want to be here for you and the baby."

"I… I don't know Shepard. I thought I lost you, again. Seeing you alive but you didn't remember me, it's hurt more than when you died."

"Listen, Liara. I know that I hurt you. I understand if you don't want to be with me anymore. I'm not going to win your heart back like I did after we beat the Shadow Broker. Not because I don't love you as much as I do back then, but because I don't want to put you through it again. Being with me was never easy and now that I saved the galaxy, it will be a lot harder. I can't even walk around without people saying 'hey that's Commander Shepard' or the reporters wanting to know my every move. I'm not going to push myself on you. But I will always be there for you. I promise that."

"I will need time to think."

"I understand, Liara. But please, while you still think about us, I want to be here for you and the baby."

Liara only respond with a smile which Shepard takes it as her approval.

* * *

After a week on Thessia, Shepard back on Earth by the Alliance request. Shepard tried to object at first but she knew that she is using personal reason as the reason why she should stay on Thessia a little while longer. With Liara being released by the doctor a few hours before the Normandy depart, it makes Shepard leaving Thessia a lot easier. But Shepard made sure Liara promise her to stay healthy and avoid making herself stress as that was the reason why she faint in the first place.

With a few hours to spare before Shepard need to report in front of the new Alliance Admirals, Shepard decided to catch up with her best friend, Maddison at a café near the hospital where Maddison work.

When Shepard arrived, she was 10 minutes early so she decided to find a table near a window and order herself a cup of tea. She is one of those few people who don't really drink coffee nor need caffeine to stay awake. Her problem is usually to fall asleep rather than staying awake. But she does drink coffee from time to time.

"Hey, Shepard." said Maddison as she sit in front of Shepard before ordering herself a cup of coffee when the waitress came asking her order.

"Black coffee? Really?" asked Shepard as she knows her best friend also didn't drink much coffee.

"I've been pulling all nighters the past few days. I think my blood pressure is up." answered Maddison as she rubs her temple.

"Patients are giving you problems?"

"The war against the Reapers made people lost their mind. The thing they saw… I can't even explain it."

"Hey, you don't have to explain it. I of all people know better about it. Things I saw. Death… It still haunts me."

"You need to see a shrink more than they do."

"You know what I feel about shrink."

"And yet your best friend is a shrink."

"I never thought you as one. You're my best friend and it's kind of your job to be my shrink. Even if it not your job."

"So… I heard you remember Liara." asked Maddison after the waitress sent her cup of coffee.

"Who told you that?"

"Oh, you know. Someone name Gracie? I think she said she your PA." said Maddison teasing Shepard.

"I don't have a PA and stop calling me Gracie."

"So are you going to tell me what going to happen now?"

"Well it's up to Liara now."

"What do you mean? You don't love her anymore or you want to be with Matt again?"

"No… I found this when I was looking around my apartment at the Citadel." said Shepard as she take a piece of paper from her pocket and give it to Maddison.

"…Well this explains a lot." said Maddison after she finished reading the paper.

"Explain what?" asked Shepard in confusion.

"I think I found the reason why you seem to have no problem remembering anything from the last few years except Liara."

"You mean?"

"I explain to you before sometimes when brain decided to hide some memories as it defense mechanism. I think before you go through that blast from the Crucible you remember what you wrote in this paper. You bought that ring and never propose to her. And why's that?"

"Because I don't want her to suffer again if I die."

"You know exactly what you will do and sacrifice to destroy the Reapers."

"She already loss me twice, I can't hurt her again... I know that I will die centuries before she will and I don't want to leave this world knowing she will never move on because every time she tried, I come back and beg her to stay."

"But you still love her… Are you really willing to sacrifice your happiness for her sake? After everything you went through the past few years, you deserve some happiness."

"Seeing Liara alive and happy will be good enough…"

"You may believe that but I won't."

"So what am I supposed to do? Beg her again and then leaves her for good century from now? I can't hurt her again. I WON'T hurt her again!" yelled Shepard as she torn over her own feeling.

"Whatever you going to choose, you can't have a win-win situation. Because you love her so much that you are willing to die for her. I was there when you were in love with Matt, but you aren't willing to die for him. I know you haven't thought about that feeling in quite some time now until recently, but the truth is you love Liara more than you could ever love Matt."

"And this supposed to help me, how?"

"It wasn't supposed to help you. I just lay it on you because I could see the conflict in your eyes."

"Now I wish my best friend isn't a shrink…"

"Oh please. You always wish that even though your heart wants me to be a shrink because at a time like this, you need one. You're not invincible, Grace. You never were."

"I never can win when arguing with you. Can I?" said Shepard with a sigh.

"Nope. Never." said Maddison as she flash a smile.

* * *

**A/N : So I supposed to write a scene between Shepard and Matt but since it's already long enough and I really need to post it before my birthday (this Friday) because I'm off for a weekend vacation, so that would mean I won't be writing this weekend or have any time to post this chapter this week. Anyway I will be focusing on new chapter for Forever After so I won't be writing a new chapter for What If until I'm done with my other story which I abandoned it long enough. I really hope this is a great chapter and I didn't do a final check on this story so pardon me for any mistype or usual grammar mess. Let me know what you think and if there a few questions in your mind that I still didn't answer so far in this story. So leave me a review but please be nice. Oh one last thing, this story is far from over because as you notice Liara didn't give Shepard an answer and Shepard is conflicted about her feeling towards Liara. And Matt will be in the picture soon enough to win Shepard back. There will be more drama for sure. Well maybe... Maybe not much of a drama... Oh I don't know. You will know soon enough when I write the new chapters.  
**


	6. With My Whole Heart

**A/N : Hey guys, first of all just a little warning that this chapter will be a downer (well sort of). I had to do it for a reason you guys will know in future chapter. Secondly, I like to explain that letter in previous chapter. I realized that the part about Shepard talking about she losing her memories, feel kinda off so I will make it right in this chapter. Hopefully I could make it right. So without further ado…**

* * *

Chapter 6 : With My Whole Heart

It was just another typical day for Shepard. Another job training new rookies as she and the rest of Normandy crews waits for the Normandy repairs ahead of a big order from the Alliance and the Council. Shepard still has no idea what the order is but she have a feeling she won't like it. But worst of all it has been a month since she last saw Liara. She still kept in touch with Liara but what she wanted the most is to be right there with Liara.

Shepard took a deep breath as she sit at one of park bench. This park, located near the Alliance base has became Shepard usual spot to relax ever since the Normandy undergoing repairs. As she was about to close her eyes and hoping for a little nap, Maddison came almost out of nowhere and sat next to Shepard.

"You know I'm getting real tired seeing you. Every time I turn around, I almost bump into you."

"And I'm getting tired stalking you around." said Maddison as both of them burst out laughing.

"What brought you here?" asked Shepard as both of them stop laughing.

"Well, I did some research over your memories loss and I think I already find a proper answer."

"Didn't we already go through this over coffee?"

"That is true but back then I go with my gut with no scientific prove or anything to back that up. But now I do."

"And what is it?"

"Over 180 years ago there was a case like this. It was a married couple and the husband was hit by a car in front of his wife. Sad story really, but he was fine except he suffered memory loss. They were married for 5 years and he loss all those memories he had with his wife. To make things worst all he remembered about his wife was that he hates her. Worst of all, his wife found out she was pregnant. For 4 months he still didn't remember anything except he believe he did married his wife but he thought it was over business rather than love. When she told him, well more like he figured out that she was pregnant, he accused his wife of cheating with his little brother…"

"You know it seems like a good story but I really love to hear the end of it. You know the happy ending or your point is."

"You are no fun at all… Fine. In the end he did remembered and to cut the story short he told her that the last thing on his mind when he got hit by the car was that he's happy that it wasn't her that took the hit. He also said his wife is on his mind from the moment he saw that car was about to hit him until he lost his consciousness."

"…Everything already came back to me and I have to admit the only thing that was on my mind was Liara. How much I hate to break my promise to her that I'm always coming back because I know I won't. When we said our goodbyes, I want to tell her to move on when I die. I want to forget how much I love her because it hurt me to see her like that. Those look on her face when we said goodbyes, when I left her with Garrus in front of the Normandy shuttle bay. I want to spare her feeling. I know that I was joking when I wrote her that letter about I lost my memories, but I know deep inside I thought it was for the best. I want her to hate me so it would be easier for me to sacrifice my life for the galaxy… To leaves her a peaceful galaxy." said Shepard as tears threatened to streams down her face.

"Is that why you didn't propose?"

"As much as I want her to hate me, I want to be with her. I want her to feels my love. I want to keep my promise to her because I meant every promise. But most of all I need her. Because when I look at her, every worry, every responsibility the entire galaxy put on me, just gone. I couldn't propose to her because I'm afraid I will break my promise to her."

"To always coming back?"

"Yes."

"Has Liara given you her answer?"

"Not yet."

"You love her don't you?"

"Yes."

"Then why didn't you propose to her? Or ask her to be with you again?"

"…" Shepard only silent.

"What aren't you telling me?"

* * *

The rumors Shepard kept hearing didn't calm her nerves. She hope it just rumors but she know better. She knows that it wasn't rumors, she know that's going to be her new order, new assignment for Normandy crews. It's like saving the galaxy isn't enough, now the Alliance and the Council wants them, no expect them to do this new assignment. There won't be any complain from her crews or herself because they know, duty comes first. It always has been.

As Shepard pacing around her room, there was a knock on her door. When she opened it, there was a blonde female Lieutenant holding a piece of letter.

"It's a new order from the Alliance and the Council to the Normandy crews." said the Lieutenant as she gave Shepard the letter before leaving.

Shepard immediately opens the letter and the contents of it just prove the rumors she's been hearing. Oh how much she hates to tell her crews about the new order. Then it cross her mind, how she going to tell Liara?

For the past 3 hours, Shepard was busy calling the Normandy crews and informed them the new order. The Alliance and the Council has stated the Normandy have to leave Earth in 24 hours. Now for the next few hours Shepard has to go through list of new officers to pick to replace Lieutenant James Vega who was called up for N7 training. That means Shepard need to find someone to replace him since Ashley and herself are the only senior officers on the ship.

With so many things to be done with so little time, Shepard didn't realize there's only 3 hours left before she has to go aboard the Normandy. She was about to pick up her datapad to send an email to Liara when she heard a knock on her door.

"Matt…" said Shepard once she opened the door.

"Hey Grace. Can I come in?" said Matt as he stood in front of the door.

"Yeah, sure." replied Shepard as she lead them to the living room.

"So I heard you got a new order." said Matt as he sits in front of Shepard.

"Yeah… How did you get past the security?"

"Well it wasn't easy but when I show them my doctor credential they just let me in. They must have thought you need a medical checkup or something."

"Some top notch security work there."

"Ha. You should complain to the Alliance. But then again it's not like you can't defend yourself if someone is to attack you."

"So what brought you here?"

"I need to know your answer."

"About your proposal?"

"Yes."

"Matt…"

"I know I told you I would wait and I won't push you. But knowing your new order might see you away for years, I need to know."

"What we had… It was in the past. I won't deny I still have some feelings towards you but my heart is with someone else. I love her more than life itself and more than I ever love you. I'm sorry Matt, but my answer is no. I won't change my mind."

"I see… She's a lucky girl. I hope she know that." said Matt as he force a smile on his face.

* * *

After Matt leaved, Shepard took her datapad and preparing to compose an email to Liara when she decided to go to the Normandy and asked for EDI help instead. After grabbing her duffel bag, Shepard head towards where the Normandy dock. Few crews already on board and Shepard rush towards her cabin while telling EDI to meet her there.

"Shepard, what can I do for you?" asked EDI.

"I need you to record my message to Liara."

"Certainly. Whenever you ready." said EDI as she turn on her omni-tool.

**_"_****_Hey Liara. I don't know how to say this… I just got a new order from the Alliance and the Council. The Normandy has been order to help out some colonies against some mercenaries who have been terrorizing them for quite some time now. The mission mostly consists in the Terminus System and I will work with Aria T'Loak over how to counter act the mercenaries. I can't believe there still some species out there that uses violence after everything they saw against the Reapers. Anyway this mean I may be away for at least a year. I hate to think that I will miss the baby arrival. We didn't even talk about naming the baby yet. I'm not sure what to name her. But one thing I know is she's my light. She's the light that will guide me home just like she guided me to remember us."_**

**_"_****_I love you Liara T'Soni. I never want to lose you. Even if I do, it's because I want to spare you the feeling seeing me dead again. I can't see you hurt again. I can't look at that face that greets me when I first saw you on Illium. I could see the look of hurt, sadness and a hint of happiness when you saw me. I would do anything not to look at that face again. Yet I did so when I forget everything about you except this time it worst than when I died… So tell me what I should do to have you with me again but this time without the hurt in your face if anything happen to me... I will always love you Liara. If anything happen to me, tell our daughter that I love her from the very first day I found out I'm going to have a baby with you. Even without seeing her, I know that I love her with my whole heart."_**

"All done." said Shepard to EDI.

"I will send it to Liara."

"How long will it take? I know the communications are half working."

"I will make sure Liara get it." said EDI firmly before leave Shepard cabin.

* * *

"Hey Shepard. When are we going to see a new stripe in your uniform?" asked Ashley over dinner.

"Promotion is the least of my problem right now."

"Forget I said anything." said Ashley as she realized Shepard was bothered by the fact she won't be there for her daughter arrival.

*Shepard took a deep breath* "I'm sorry Ash. I barely have a moment to catch a breath. Ever since we got the new order I have been knee deep in work."

"I understand. Listen Shepard, I'm sorry you can't be there for Liara. I know that you promised her to be there for her and with this new assignment, everything you work on to gain her heart back is going down in flames."

"I wasn't the only one having problems with this new assignment. Some of the crews finally got reunited with their families and now they have to go away for at least a year."

"Shepard, sometimes you need to stop worrying about the crews. I'm your XO and I can worry about the crews while you worry about you and Liara and the baby."

"You also just got reunited with your family, Ash."

"Shepard, you been there for me when my little sister loss her husband. Now it's time for me to return the favor. You always been there for me despite all the crap I gave you over Cerberus. You are going to have a baby, Shepard. When you got back she will be at least a year old! You will miss a year of her life."

"You think I don't know that?" yell Shepard.

"Then stop worrying about us and think about that!"

The argument between Shepard and Ashley fill the dining hall with few of the crew watch their CO and XO arguing without any of them dare to stop them.

"Enough you two." yell Dr. Chakwas as she exits her med bay after hearing the argument between Shepard and Ashley.

"It's not helping anyone when their two commanding officer at each other throats." add Dr. Chakwas.

"I will be in my cabin if anyone needs me." said Shepard as she left the dining hall.

"What's wrong with her?" asked Ashley.

"She's having a mental break down…" said Maddison as she got out from the med bay.

Maddison has been assigned as the Normandy psychologist by the Alliance after her close work with Shepard. But mostly the Alliance kept her around to make sure Shepard have her head in the game.

"I agree. It's unlike Shepard to yell at anyone like that." said Dr. Chakwas.

"She had Liara before to keep her grounded. Now that she's not here…" add Ashley refusing to complete her own sentence.

"I should have seen this. This is the reason why I didn't want her to remember what happened in the last few years. It doesn't matter how strong she is, she will come crumbling down at one point and now with Liara not here, I have to make sure she holding on. At the very least."

"Let me know if you need anything." said Dr. Chakwas as she watch Maddison make her way towards the elevators.

"Same here." add Ashley.

* * *

When Maddison arrived in front of Shepard cabin, her door was lock but it wasn't hard for Maddison to figure out what pass code Shepard used. As soon as she steps into Shepard cabin, it almost dark except the light from the fish tank. When Maddison turn on the lights, she saw Shepard sitting with her head down at one of the couch.

"My parents always told me to never depend on anyone else. Always be strong. Find that strength from my heart, never in someone else." said Shepard with her head still down while Maddison making her way next to Shepard.

"My father always told me that. I guess it's because if anything happen to them, we need to find the strength to move on."

"I always find strength deep inside of me but ever since I met Liara, my strength involve around her. I punch one of the Quarian Admirals despite knowing full well it could hurt my plan to have Quarians help with the war against the Reapers, just because I was mad at him endangering Liara."

"What did he do?"

"He made an order to fire at the Geth dreadnaught we were in despite the dreadnaught isn't firing on them anymore. We were on our way out; I was with Tali, Liara and Legion we found inside. When they fired we lose gravity and Liara almost float outside the dreadnaught but Legion managed to grab her hand. If he didn't, Liara could die and that's why I punch him. I can try to understand why he made those order but endangering my team and mostly Liara? I can't tolerate it. He could at least wait until we got out."

"Love makes you do crazy thing."

"Like that one time you do buggy jumping even though you afraid of height?"

"Ha. I was scared like hell. I thought I'm going to puke but thankfully I wasn't. But hey look what that did to me, now I wasn't that afraid of height anymore."

"That is true." Shepard let out a small laugh much to her best friend relief.

"You know Grace, even though Liara is not here physically, she is right here with you. In your heart."

"I know… But when I think of her, I think of the fact I won't be there when our daughter is born. I promise her that I will be there for her and now once again duty comes first before her."

"You could always quit… But I know you won't because since the day you were born, the Alliance life is all you know. You don't know how to survive outside the Alliance life. With the exception when you were with the Cerberus though but then again your job description is the same so…"

"That and because what I'm going to do if Liara decides to move on? This job is the only thing that can keep me sane."

"Yet this job is about to destroy you."

"Well this job killed me once, what will stop it from killing me twice?"

"I will."

Shepard briefly looked at her best friend before hang her head low again.

"You know what the problem is? You two are too afraid to give it a go again. You two keep dancing around the subject and hoping an answer will fall out of the sky. You two clearly still love each other but both of you are afraid to get hurt again. Grace, be in love, get hurt. It's not life without it. If you want to date someone who won't get hurt or have any emotion at all, go date Avina." said Maddison as she got up and start making her way out of Shepard cabin.

"Thank you." said Shepard half whispering.

"Now if you need me, I will be by Port Observation room waiting for any of your crews come by to talk to me. I would appreciate if you can make it a mandatory for every crew to at least meet me once a week." said Maddison with a smile of relief as she managed to get through her best friend.

* * *

"Greetings, Dr. T'Soni. You have a video message waiting for you." greet Glyph as Liara step into her office.

"Who is it from?" asked Liara as she sits in front of a computer console. She knows her father would be mad if she found out Liara doing some Shadow Broker work but she felt restless without something to do.

"EDI send it."

"EDI?" asked Liara in surprise before immediately open the message.

After watching the video message, Liara had a sinking feeling while she rubs her ever growing stomach. Would she regret not giving Shepard an answer or was it for the best?

* * *

**A/N : So how was it? First of all I want to explain my decision not to write a longer scene for Liara. I just want to give it a mystery touch. What exactly Liara decided? Secondly don't hate me for having Shepard going on a mission which will take her away for at least a year. You guys will know why I did it in future chapter. It also gives me the opportunity to take a look at the other side of Shepard. The other side of the brave, strong, Commander Shepard. What exactly gave her strength through the Reapers war? I see my Shepard gained her strength from Liara and now that Liara is not around and she is send to another mission, would she keep herself away from a complete mental break down? I also want to play around or experiment around with the reason why Shepard and Liara are yet to get together. It's so easy to write they get back together but it's another story when they are yet to do so. I want to make a little twist in this story. Asking question if it's really worth it for Shepard and Liara to give it a go for the third time? Maybe they better off as friends even though they are going to have a daughter together. Or maybe something in between. I actually have an idea what will happen but I'm not telling. Just making you guys wondering around ;). I hope you guys understand what I'm trying to do and love the idea. Anyway leave me a review and let me know what you guys think.**


	7. Moving On

**A/N: I thought about making this chapter less complicated but then I thought about how it won't be fun without it. I decided to fast forward the time so Shepard will be back from her long tour. So how her relationship with Liara will be? How will be the father/daughter reunion? Will there be more challenge in their relationship?**

* * *

Chapter 7 : Moving On

Day's turns to weeks, weeks turns to months, and months turns to years... It has been 5 years since Shepard and the Normandy received their assignment after the Reapers war. They spend 2 years in Terminus System and by the time they are done, the Alliance and the Council demanded them to "tour" the galaxy and help out in any way they can. By the time they finished "touring" the galaxy, it has been 5 years.

"It's about time we get some long and deserving shore leave!" said Ashley as she arrived at the bridge.

"I never thought I see the day when I'm so sick of my pilot seat." said Joker as he flew the Normandy past Mars and heading towards Earth.

"By my count, the morale of the crew has been decreasing every day after 2 years. Even in the Reapers war, the morale of the crew members kept getting higher the longer the war goes on." said EDI from her co-pilot seat.

"I rather have another Reapers war than doing this boring assignment." said Ashley.

"Boring you said? At least there's some gun fire where you are going. Explosions, if you lucky. The only fun thing piloting the Normandy throughout this assignment was those phone calls between you and James." said Joker.

"You were listening on my phone calls?" asked Ashley in anger.

"Please, Ash. We both know Joker is worst than EDI when it comes to listening on people private business." said Shepard as she walked towards the bridge from the CIC.

"Hey! That's what happened when I'm bored." said Joker in defence.

"If you want to keep your phone calls, private, you really should thought about having those phone calls where no one can hear you, you know. Other than EDI, of course." add Joker.

"He got a point, Ash."

"Oh don't you take his side now, Shepard."

"Shepard, Ashley, Admiral Hackett are requesting your presence in the QEC." said EDI, interrupting the fight waiting to happen.

"This conversation isn't over yet, you know." said Ashley as she followed Shepard towards the Comm Room.

"I still win." yell Joker from his pilot seat.

"Commander Shepard, Lieutenant-Commander Williams." greet Admiral Hackett holographic as Shepard and Ashley walked into the room where the QEC is.

"Admiral Hackett." said both Shepard and Ashley.

"I have a new order for you two." said Hackett, straight to the point.

"Oh come on, we don't even touch down on Earth yet and we already have new order?" said Ashley in annoyance.

"Calm down, Ash."

"It's okay, Shepard. I understand Lieutenant-Commander Williams frustration. But this new order is not a new assignment. Not exactly..."

"What do you mean, Admiral?" asked Shepard.

"The Alliance Admirals are requesting a meeting with both of you. It has something to do with both your promotions and new assignments."

"Does this mean our shore leave is cut short, Admiral?" asked Ashley.

"You will know once you meet with them." answered Admiral Hackett.

"Is that all, Admiral?" asked Shepard.

"Yes." said Hackett before his holographic form disappears.

"I was looking forward for some deserving R&amp;R." complain Ashley.

"Big plan with James?"

"You could say that."

"I'm sure you two will have plenty of time to catch up."

"I sure hope our shore leave isn't cut short. For your sake."

"Why is that?"

"After 5 years, I'm sure you're looking forward to meet your daughter."

"..."

"Shepard?"

"I didn't receive any news from Liara ever since I send her that message informing her about our new assignment."

"You think she's mad?"

"I won't blame her."

"Well Shepard, she can't stop you from meeting your daughter. You have right."

"I think I lose the right after spending 5 years travelling the galaxy instead of being there for Liara as I promised." said Shepard as she left the Comm room.

* * *

"I'm worried about, Shepard." said Ashley to Dr. Chakwas and Maddison at med bay.

"Why?" asked Dr. Chakwas.

"She didn't hear any news from Liara and I think the possibilities of what that means have poisoned her mind."

"I have known her for most of her life and I still can't get through her. Every time I asked her about Liara, she just stayed silent. Or talked about her smile, what she promised her." said Maddison.

"That's all you got in 5 years?" asked Ashley.

"Regarding Liara? Yes. I'm lucky if she even said her name."

"See? There's more reason to concern about her."

"The only way to settle this is by making sure Shepard meets with Liara." said Dr. Chakwas.

"Any idea where to find her?" asked Maddison.

"Knowing her, I doubt finding her will be easy. But if she wants to meet with Shepard, she would know where to find her."

"Then we should have Liara find her." suggest Maddison.

"How?" asked both Ashley and Dr. Chakwas.

"By starting a rumour, of course. If she cares about her, she will find Shepard.

"I wish it will be that easy. I'm sure she will know it's a rumour." said Ashley.

"It can't hurt to try, does it? Love can make you do crazy thing."

"What kind of rumour are we going to start?" asked Dr. Chakwas.

"Maybe something about the state of her mental health."

"Are you saying you going to violate your doctor patient confidential?" asked Ashley in surprise.

"I'm pretty sure I already violated it by telling you two about my concern of her mental health."

"Won't it hurt Shepard reputation?" asked Dr. Chakwas.

"Right about now I don't mind getting dirty as long as it will reunited Shepard and Liara. I'm feeling guilty for holding out from telling Shepard the truth about her real relationship with Liara, when she lost her memory. Even when I knew she was pregnant. She kept asking me for the truth and I kept denying her. I shouldn't have done that and maybe if I don't, we won't even be in this mess." said Maddison in regret.

"Maybe we could minimize the impact it will done to Shepard if we plant the rumours carefully." suggest Ashley after a long silence

"How?"

"With EDI help."

* * *

As soon as they arrived on Earth, Shepard and Ashley went to the Alliance head quarters. They have been in the room with the Alliance Admirals for almost half an hour now, mostly bored out of their mind with the meeting.

"All of that aside, we all has agreed on promoting both of you. Commander Shepard, as for now you've been promoted to Admiral. After a week of shore leave, we want you to go to the Citadel for your new job as a liaison between the Alliances and the Council. You will be overseeing C-Sec and will be working closely with Commander Bailey. You will also oversee the new step towards a task force consist of every species in the galaxy. You will also be working closely with the new human Councilor, Shepard. As for you, Lieutenant-Commander Williams, as per Admiral Shepard request you will be the new captain of the Normandy. Thus granted you a promotion to Commander. Your new executive officer will be Lieutenant James Vega who is fresh from his N7 training." said one of the Admirals whose name Shepard and Ashley let slipped in the back of their mind.

"Well that could complicate thing." said Ashley after the meeting.

"Are you kidding? I'm sure Joker going to be over the moon with this news." said Shepard with a smirk.

"Very funny, Shepard. Any advice?"

"Keep it in your pants, Ash. Stay professional unless you want the Alliance to know and probably throw both of you under a bus."

"I think I prefer being hit by a bus, if such thing even exists in this day and age, than tell the Alliance about my romantic relationship with my new XO."

"I'm sure the fraternization rule will change with a right pull."

"The right pull you have... If anyone should change the rule, it has to be you, Shepard. I mean you let Gabby and Kenneth to be together, in fact you were the one who make Kenneth realized that. You also the one who didn't write Kaidan, bless his soul, when he confess his feeling and asking you to choose between him and Liara. You also brush off James endless flirting with you and described it as un-harmful flirts."

"I don't think Gabby and Kenneth situation is the same with you and James. After all they are in the same ranks. Unless something changes, they still are following the rule. Also if they can't keep it in their pants, then it will be a problem. As for Kaidan... Well I don't think it's necessary and James, I knew him well enough even before Reapers start attacking Earth to know he didn't really mean anything with those shameless flirt. I know that his respects for me are more than any romantic feeling he may has.

"Can't you help a girl out? After all we've been through a lot." pleaded Ashley.

"I never said I won't help."

* * *

After leaving the Alliance HQ, Shepard headed towards a park near the Alliance HQ to relax herself after being so long across the galaxy. After taking a few deep breaths while walking, her left leg suddenly being hit by something. Well not something, more like a little Asari.

"Sowy." mutter the little Asari as she rubs her head.

"It's okay. Are your head hurts?" asked Shepard as she knelt down to check on the little Asari.

"Elaina?!" yell someone from a distance.

That voice... Shepard didn't dare to look to where that voice came from, afraid to see who the owner of that voice she used to love. No, still love.

"Mommy." said the little Asari as she got up and ran towards her mother.

"I told you not to run around too far! What if you got lost? Or someone take you?" yell the little Asari mother.

"I'm sorry for my daughter behaviour." apologize the Asari mother to a still knelt down Shepard whose head still hang low to hide her face from the Asari mother.

"It's okay..." answered Shepard and finally find courage to look at the Asari mother.

"Shepard..."

"It's nice to see you, Liara." said Shepard as she stood up.

"I... I didn't realize it was you." apologize Liara.

"You don't have to be sorry. It has been a while, after all." said Shepard as she gave Liara a little smile.

"I still should have recognized you."

"I'm sure you were too worried about your daughter." said Shepard as it reminded Liara about the little Asari presence.

"Elaina, this is Commander Shepard. Shepard, this is Elaina." introduce Liara.

"The hero in those books?" asked Elaina.

"Yes, but she's also a good friend of mine."

"Nice to meet you, Com-de Shepard." said Elaina as she struggle pronouncing Commander.

"Nice to meet you too, Elaina. No need to call me Commander, just Shepard. Also because I'm no longer a Commander."

"You've been promoted? Congratulations." said Liara.

"Shepard!" yell Ashley from behind them as she run towards Shepard.

"Ash." said Shepard as she turns to face Ashley.

"I was... Oh, Liara." Ashley stopped herself from finishing her question when she saw Liara.

"Ashley."

"What this cute little girl name?" asked Ashley as she knelt down in front Elaina.

"Elaina." answered Elaina.

"Should we grab two ice-creams while your mother talk with Admiral Shepard?" asked Ashley as she tried to give Liara and Shepard some alone time.

"Can we, mommy?"

"Sure. Ashley here is an old friend but don't give her too much trouble, okay?"

"Yes, mommy." said Elaina as she lead Ashley towards an ice-cream vendor.

"I should remember to thank Ashley later." said Shepard as she watched Elaina and Ashley rush to an ice-cream vendor.

"I didn't tell her about who you really are. She didn't know who her father is... I can't afford the media to know about whose daughter Elaina is." said Liara after letting what Shepard were saying lingered in the air for a few seconds of awkward silence.

"...I understand."

"...I see you're well." said Liara breaking another awkward silence.

"Yes. I see you're well too."

Another awkward fill the air before Liara omni-tool start to buzz.

"Liara, when are you coming to the Citadel?" asked the holograph Asari.

"Iana, I will be there once I finish with my business here on Earth." answered Liara.

"Very well, tell Elaina I miss her." said the Asari before disconnecting the call.

Once she heard the Asari called Iana asked Liara to tell Elaina that she miss her, Shepard heart almost stop. Has Liara moved on? She couldn't blame Liara if she did. She spends 5 years away from her and her daughter. Because once again her duty with the Alliance and as a Council Spectre, came first. Like it always has been since the first day she met Liara. Not to mention she spend months before that forgetting about her.

"So you're going to the Citadel after this?" said Shepard as she broke the silence.

"Yes. Since I wrote that book with Javik, I have received few offers for a teaching position in various universities in Thessia and Citadel. I took the teaching position in Citadel because there's a good school for Elaina there. It's a bit expensive but it will be worth it."

"I can help with the payment."

"It's not necessary, Shepard."

"I insisted. Even if she didn't know who I am, I know who she is. It's my responsibility as a father."

"Very well."

"What about your other work?" asked Shepard as she remembered Liara secret identity.

"The teaching position is more of a part time job." answered Liara.

"I see... Have you found an apartment in the Citadel yet?"

"No. It's not easy finding an apartment in the Citadel that is affordable."

"You can live in my apartment in the Citadel."

"But..."

"No but. You won't have to pay a rent and the apartment is fairly secure... Just don't say that to Zaeed and Garrus. They will disagree and they might try to booby traps the apartment again."

"If you insist."

"Hey, how can you got two scoops of ice-creams and I only have one? I thought we agreed for one scoop?" asked Ashley as she and Elaina walk towards where Shepard and Liara are.

"You only said we should grab two ice-creams..." answered Elaina.

"Seriously, Liara. Your daughter is too smart for her own good." said Ashley to a chuckle from both Shepard and Liara.

* * *

After Liara and Elaina left, Shepard and Ashley headed towards the nearest restaurant after Ashley insisted on Shepard to go grab lunch.

"Elaina seems like a nice and bright kid." said Ashley as they wait for their orders.

"Yes, she is." answered Shepard as she thought back about Elaina.

"And she has your green eyes."

"I didn't realize that..."

"Shepard, is everything all right?" asked Ashley, concerned with the look of her commanding officer.

"She didn't know..."

"Who didn't know?"

"Liara didn't tell her."

"Liara didn't tell who about what?"

"Elaina..." Shepard didn't know how to explain it to Ashley because she barely agrees with Liara decision.

"Wait. You mean Liara didn't tell Elaina who her father is?" said Ashley, finally putting the pieces together.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Have you seen the way reporters react when they saw me?"

"Yes. They mobbed you whenever they get a chance."

"Liara didn't want the media to know about the real identity of Elaina father. If they know who her father is..." said Shepard, more to convince herself that it's a right choice than explaining to Ashley.

"They are going to have a field day..."

"Yes."

"But she can't deny you from seeing your daughter." said Ashley as she saw a trouble look in Shepard.

"She didn't. At least she didn't say anything about that."

"Then what are you going to do?"

"I have offered to pay for Elaina school in the Citadel. I also offered Liara to live in the apartment Anderson gave me."

"Well at least you get to live together."

"..."

"Wait... She didn't know, didn't she?"

"I didn't tell her about my new job in the Citadel."

"Look it like this, soon enough she will fall for you all over again."

"I doubt that."

"Why's that?"

"I think she has moved on..."

"What do you mean?"

"Earlier, an Asari called her asking about when she will arrive in the Citadel. Then she told her to tell Elaina she miss her."

"That doesn't mean Liara has found someone else. It could be her assistance."

"When was the last time you saw Liara not being private about her life?"

"...You have a point."

"Either way, I don't think I should let Liara fall in love with me again... I can't hurt her again by leaving. I will die long before she will and I can't let her get her heart broken again. She better off with someone else."

"Shepard..."

"Right now what's important is Elaina. I want to be there for her. Regardless whether she know about the fact I'm her father or not."

"If you think it's for the best, then very well." said Ashley as she didn't want to argue with Shepard since she clearly has made up her mind.

* * *

Shepard spent her shore leave in the Shepard's family estate before heading to the Citadel for her new job position. She kept a tight lip about the existent of Elaina from both of her parents. Hannah, who is now the new human councilor tried to asked her daughter about Liara but all she's getting is it's complicated. Every time she tried to push the subject, her daughter ran from her. Getting the hint, Hannah stopped asking.

After meeting with the council and approving Specialist Samantha Traynor as her assistant, Shepard took the sky car to her apartment in Silversun Strip. When she got out of the elevator she saw Liara and Elaina saying goodbye to an Asari, which Shepard presumed as Iana.

"Be a good kid when I'm gone okay? Don't worry your mother too much." said Iana as she plant a kiss on Elaina forehead.

"I am a good kid." said Elaina.

"How long will you be in Thessia?" asked Liara.

"For a few weeks at the very least. I'll be back before you know it." answered Iana.

"Take care." said Liara.

Shepard who was watching from afar, far enough not to be notice but close enough to saw and heard everything. As she saw the scene in front of her, Shepard felt a ping of jealously. That should be her... Thought Shepard before her presence was noticed by Iana, Liara and Elaina.

"Shepard." said Liara as she saw Shepard.

"I didn't mean to interrupt." said Shepard as she walk towards them.

"You didn't. I was about to leave anyway." said Iana before she excuse herself.

"Elaina, why don't you go upstairs and play with Glyph?" said Liara.

"Okay." obey Elaina as she ran upstairs.

"I didn't know you were coming." said Liara as she led Shepard to the living room.

"It was my fault. I didn't tell you about my new job." said Shepard as she sat in a sofa next to Liara.

"Don't tell me you work with C-Sec now."

"Not really. With my promotion to Admiral and as a Council Spectre, the Council wanted me to oversee C-Sec while working on a Special Task Force which will involve the best of the best from every species in the galaxy."

"So you will be working in the Citadel?"

"Yes. I'm sorry I didn't mention this to you before."

"It fine, Shepard. Does this mean you will need the apartment?" asked Liara.

"No. You can stay here. I will find another place. I'm sure the Council can spare me a quarters."

"Nonsense, Shepard. This is your apartment, you can stay here."

"I don't want to bother you."

"You won't. I insist. This apartment is too big for just us. You can sleep in your bedroom. We took the second room upstairs."

"Very well." said Shepard as she flash Liara a smile.

* * *

**_"Will you just stop for a second? We'll be jumping several light years. There's time to talk."_**

**_"About what?"_**

**_"About us!"_**

**_"Shepard, listen, I'm glad you're here..."_**

**_"You worried there might be terminals you need me to hack?" Shepard sound so cold but she didn't care. She was tired and hurting with the way Liara treating her._**

**_"That's not fair. You were dead!" she could see the hurt look on Liara face but she can't help but still feeling mad._**

**_"I came back!"_**

**_"It's not that easy! You can't just come back and have two years of mourning suddenly vanish! I'm sorry, Shepard. I can't get into this. For now, let's just focus on getting Feron back."_**

**_"Fine." _**

Shepard could still remember how mad she was with Liara. She was supposed to understand the way Liara felt, it might only a few weeks for her, but for Liara it has been 2 years. But back then she was acting selfish. She was in love with Liara, she was miserable in the Cerberus ship without her around. That is why she took every opportunity she can to spend more time in Ilium, so she could see Liara, see the way Liara smile that never fail to melt her heart.

But that was then, now Shepard has decided that it will be best if she stay away from Liara. Let Liara distant herself from her. Because all she will bring to Liara is pain. She couldn't let Liara get her heart broken again. She saw what it did to Liara when she died. It broke her heart when she saw Liara for the first time in Ilium, because deep inside, she knew, Liara has changed.

She can't afford to be selfish again. She needs to let Liara move on. But she refused to stay away from her daughter. Because no matter what, she wants to be there for Elaina, be it as her mother good friend.

* * *

There she was again. Surround by dark forest with shadowy figures all around her. No matter where she ran, they always follow and sometimes if she ran in a wrong direction, the memories from the war came back to haunt her. Usually she was haunted by alternate versions of what happened. It's kinda funny how back then, she wasn't afraid, but now after the war ended, she was afraid by those memories. Maybe her best friend, Maddison was right. It's better if she never remember...

Shepard jolted awake by another nightmare. She was expecting waking up alone but instead she saw a blue figure beside her.

"Liara... I'm sorry if I woke you up." said Shepard as she tries to even out her breathing.

"You didn't... I could sense you were in distress." said Liara as she squeeze Shepard right hand lovingly.

"You could sense?"

"Every meld we had, it's improved my connection with you. I thought it gone by now, but I was wrong. When I sense your distress in my sleep, I grew worried so I came by to check on you. I hope I'm not intruding."

"No. I appreciate it."

"Mommy?" said Elaina from Shepard bedroom door frame as she rubs off sleep from her eyes.

"What are you doing here, honey?" asked Liara as she turn to face her daughter.

"I woke up and I can't find you anywhere."

"I'm sorry, Elaina. Your mother was here to check on me." said Shepard in behalf of Liara.

"Are you okay?" asked Elaina as she walks towards the bed.

"I'm fine. It just a nightmare." answered Shepard as she watched Elaina climb up the bed.

"Mommy always hugged me when I had a nightmare. Can I hug you? Maybe the monsters will go away?"

"Can't hurt to try."

As soon as Shepard gave her permission, Elaina immediately hugged Shepard before whispering in Shepard ear that everything will be fine. Soon enough Elaina fall back to sleep, still hugging Shepard. Shepard too falls back to sleep with a smile on her face.

Liara who was watching the whole scene unfold before her, can't help but smile watching the father/daughter moment. It made her heart grew warm to watch Shepard and Elaina like that. Even without telling Elaina that Shepard is her father, clearly Elaina already has a connection with Shepard... Liara slowly retreat back to her bedroom and promised herself to never forget what she just witness. Because one day Elaina will know who Shepard really is and she want her daughter to see this moment, to let her know how much Shepard loves her.

* * *

**A/N: So how was the chapter? I hope it almost threaten you to shed a tear. Anyway what do you guys think will happen next? Was Shepard right? That Liara has moved on? And who is Iana? Was it right not to tell Elaina who Shepard really is? But the important question has to be what really in Liara mind? Has she stopped loving Shepard? Has she moved on? Want to know the answer? Well you have to wait for the next update. **


	8. Guilt

**A/N: Well I've been receiving feedback on how Liara acted in the last chapter... I wasn't expecting that, but maybe I kinda did subconciously... Anyway calm down people. There's a reason why I didn't do Liara point of view. It was to make sure there's something mysterious, uncertainty. About Iana... Well she is not what you guys expect. Well enough with that, here the new chapter that I hope will satisfy you guys.**

* * *

Chapter 8 : Guilt

Shepard sat silently in a couch in her best friend office at Huerta Memorial. Maddison staring her with so many questions in her eyes but she kept her mouth shut, waiting patiently for Shepard to start talking. It has been 2 weeks since Shepard got to Citadel and today is the first day Maddison starts her new position as the new head psychiatrist at Huerta Memorial. Maddison has called Shepard for a sit up and Shepard reluctantly agreed after Maddison told her to come as a friend favor.

"I'm not here to talk about my feelings." said Shepard as she grew annoy with the way Maddison stared at her.

"So why are you here?"

"Because a certain psychiatrist friend of mine insisted on me coming here as a favor for her."

"So shouldn't you talk about your feelings?"

"I thought I'm here as your friend?"

"I thought I asked you to come here as a favor for me? So you really should start talking about your feelings."

"I hate it when you do this." grunt Shepard as she realized it was a trick from her best friend.

"You can hate me all you want, but you still going to talk about your feelings." said Maddison with a smirk.

"Ugh. Fine."

Shepard talked about what's going on for five minutes but Maddison realized that she talked about everything except what she truly feel about Liara and Elaina.

"So you're okay with Liara not telling Elaina that you are her father?" asked Maddison.

"I... Uh. Yeah. I'm fine. I understand her reason and she got a point." said Shepard as she regained her composure after Maddison question surprised her.

"So you're fine that Elaina won't know who you really are?"

"Like I said, Liara has a point. If they know who Elaina is, the media will have a field day. I mean it's not like our relationship was out in the open. Only peoples on board the Normandy knew. Except that Battlespace reporter, Diana Allers."

"It must be hard for you to be around your daughter knowing she didn't know that you're her father."

"I won't lie... It's hard. It crossed my mind how Liara can do this after what happened to her. When she talked about how she didn't know who her father is, I can see a hint of disappointment mix with hurt. I just can't believe how she can do this to our daughter."

"You should tell her that."

"For as long as I has known her, I never once saw her being selfish. She knew that my duty as an Alliance officer, as a Spectre, comes first. She never once complaint and all she ever asked me was to promised her that I'm always coming back to her. I think she deserved to act selfish once in a while."

"Grace! We are talking about your daughter here. You have a right! You're the most honorable person I've met. You never back away from your responsibilities. Are you really going to walk away from your responsibility as a father? I know that Asari reproductions are not the same as we are, how your daughter doesn't have your DNA, how she's not related to you by blood, but she still has your genetic materials or whatever it is, and without you, Liara couldn't have conceived."

"Who said anything about I'm walking away from my responsibility to my daughter?"

"Explain to me how exactly you're doing your responsibility as a father if she didn't even know who you are?"

"I help paying her tuition..."

"Is that enough?"

"..." Shepard couldn't answer her best friend because she knew it's not enough. At least for her.

"Talk to her, Grace."

"She has moved on, Maddison. I can't ruin her happiness. She looked so happy and all I will bring to her is hurt."

"That's not true."

"Is it? I will die long before she will. She already lost me twice, what's the point having her lost me for the third time?"

"If that's what you say so you fall asleep every night, fine." said Maddison as she knew no matter what she say, it won't change her best friend opinion. At least not yet.

* * *

After leaving Maddison office, instead of goes straight back to her office, Shepard decided to go home instead. Her conversation with Maddison still lingers in her head and that was the very reason why Shepard decided to skip work because she knew she won't get any work done.

"Shepard! I'm glad you're home early. I was about to call you." said Liara as soon as Shepard open the door.

"Is something wrong?"

"No. Not really. I need you to look after Elaina. I have to go back to Thessia."

"Why do you need to go to Thessia?"

"Iana just called me and I need to be there for her."

"Oh, I see."

"I can't bring Elaina with me because she has school and it will be best if I go alone. I will be back in a few days."

"Don't worry. Go. I will take care of Elaina."

"Thank you, Shepard."

"It's nothing. Where is she anyway?" asked Shepard as she couldn't see Elaina anywhere.

"Upstairs. She's sulking because I won't let her come with me."

"I will go check on her then." said Shepard as she starts walking to the staircase.

"Shepard, I won't leave her if it's not important. We've never been apart before."

"Don't worry, Liara. You can trust me." said Shepard as she turns around to look at Liara.

"I do trust you, Shepard." said Liara as she flash Shepard a small smile.

After watching Liara leaving the apartment, Shepard went upstairs to check on Elaina. She could hear soft sobbing from her room. When Shepard went inside, she saw Elaina curling up like a ball in the bed. Her heart almost breaks into pieces when she saw her daughter. How much she wants to protect her and those beautiful smiles she has.

"Hey." said Shepard softly as she sat next to Elaina on the bed.

"I want to go with mommy." replied Elaina in between her tears.

"You've never been apart from her before, right? I know the feeling when I had to be apart from my parents."

"Mommy told me you grew up in Space and that your parents are in the Alliance." said Elaina as she turns to face Shepard with tears still in her eyes.

"Yes. It got harder each time. Sometimes I cried in the middle of the night because I missed them or because I was afraid that when I woke up, someone going to tell me that they are gone."

"But mommy will be fine right?"

"Of course she is. She is one of the best biotics I ever fight with if not the best. Nothing is going to happen to her."

"You promise?"

"I promise. Now what about we go out to the Presidium and get some ice-creams?"

"Can I have two scoops of ice-cream?" asked Elaina as she wipes away her tears.

"You can have how many you want."

"Yay!" said Elaina as she starts to jump of happiness on her bed.

Right then and there, watching the smile and happiness in Elaina face made Shepard heart grew warm. Then it hits her how Elaina will never know who she really is and that sting her. The thought of someone else playing the father role, hurt Shepard so much that she rather suffocated to death again. She can deal with Liara moving on with someone else, but the thought of that someone else will be Elaina father, hurt her like hell. Especially knowing Elaina will never know the fact she is her father.

When Elaina suddenly hugged her, Shepard pushed the thoughts away.

"Are you alright?" asked Elaina as she saw Shepard look of hurt while she was bouncing.

"I'm fine now." answered Shepard as she flash Elaina a smile.

* * *

After finishing their ice-creams, Shepard and Elaina took a walk around the Presidium when they saw Javik having an argument with a Hanar.

"This one deem itself unworthy of seeing the Enkindler. This one will be honor to do what the Enkindler ask." said the Hanar.

"Do you want to be roast or boil?" asked Javik in irritation.

"I think it best if there's no Hanar get eaten today." said Shepard as she tried not to laugh.

"Why don't 'this one' just walk away after having the privilege of seeing the Enkindler?" add Shepard to the Hanar.

"This one won't forget meeting the Enkindler." said the Hanar before he leaves.

"Some things never change huh, Javik?" said Shepard.

"This is why I don't want to be in the Citadel with the primitives."

"Then why are you here?"

"Your Asari, Liara asked me to meet her. But I can't seem to find her."

"I think Liara forgot to inform you. She had to go to Thessia on some important business."

"I see."

"Hey, Uncle Javik." wave Elaina to the Prothean.

"I see you're watching your offspring."

"Uh... Yeah."

"I have not told Liara yet, but your offspring is special. That's what her pheromones told me."

"Umm. Thanks?"

"You two will be surprise of what she can do."

"Now you're just scaring me."

"What are you talking about, Uncle Javik?" asked Elaina.

"It's nothing, kiddo. Just grown up talk." answered Shepard.

"I see your Asari has yet to tell her." said Javik.

"It's for the best..." said Shepard as she knew what Javik meant.

"But you don't believe that. Your Asari was conflicted when your offspring asked her about who her sire is. I do not understand her decision."

"That's make the two of us..."

"I should leave, Commander. Before any of these primitives surround me." said Javik as he nervously watched his surrounding before leaving.

Shepard watched the retreating Javik while her mind process what Javik said...

"Are you alright, Shepard?" asked Elaina as she saw Shepard deep in thought.

"I'm fine. Where to go next?" asked Shepard as she flash Elaina a reassurance smile.

"Can I ask you a question, first?"

"You can ask me more than one."

"Do you love my mother?" asked Elaina.

Shepard was taken by surprised with Elaina question. She was struggling to find the right words to say when Elaina speaks again.

"I never saw mother look so happy before you came along."

"I'm sure you just imagining it. I'm sure she just happy to see me. After all we are great friends." said Shepard as the words 'great friends' hurt her more than she letting on.

"That's not it. There's something else."

"I think I know now why Javik told me you're special. Sometimes you can be so smart that it almost frightening."

"You didn't answer my question." said Elaina as she gaze Shepard face.

"I- Yes." as reluctant as Shepard is, she can't help but being honest.

"More than friend?"

"...Yes."

"Did mommy know?"

"Yes."

"So why aren't you together?" asked Elaina innocently as her eyes glitter at the thought of the great Commander Shepard and her mother together.

"It's complicated."

"Well you love mommy and mommy love you. What so complicated?"

"How did you know so much about love? You're 5 years old right? Or did the time freeze for me and you're suddenly older?"

"Mommy always read me Earth stories for my bedtime stories. I love the stories when two persons in love get together and live happily ever after."

"That is a fairytale, Elaina. As much as I want it to be true, usually fairytale is just a fairytale. This is real life and unfortunately it is a much cruel world."

"That doesn't mean it can't happen."

"Tell you what, kiddo. I will think about it." said Shepard as she realized no matter what she said, Elaina going to keep bugging her about it.

"Can I ask you one more question?"

"As long as it's not about your mother and I."

"Why are you calling me kiddo?"

Shepard gave out a light chuckle before answering her daughter.

"It's what my father called me when I was a kid. Actually he still called me kiddo, sometimes. I just thought it will be a nice pet name for you."

Satisfy with the answer, Elaina then lead Shepard towards one of the restaurants as she complaint being hungry.

* * *

Liara got home late than she planned. When she got to the apartment she shared with Shepard, the apartment was dark with only the lights on the upstairs balcony was turn on. Liara quietly walk upstairs to check on Elaina only to find her bedroom empty. Liara then check on Shepard bedroom and true enough, Elaina is sleeping next to Shepard. Her head snuggle on Shepard chest while Shepard arms protectively wrapped around her daughter.

The image in front of her took her breath away. She always knew Shepard will be a great parent. Then guilt hit her...

* * *

Liara walk amidst the busy Presidium Commons towards the Apollo's Cafe after receiving a message from her father. After dropping Elaina off at the kindergarten, Liara head straight to the cafe his father work since her class won't start until after lunch.

"So I have to hear it from Iana that Shepard moved in with you?" said Aethyta as Liara settle in a chair at the bar.

"The apartment is hers and she has a job in the Citadel. It's only fair she live in her apartment."

"Wait... Don't tell me you didn't tell Elaina yet?! And please tell me Shepard know that's her daughter!"

"Of course Shepard know! We... I decided it's best for Elaina not to know."

"How is it best for Elaina not to know? Her father didn't have a thousand year lifespan. Or did you forget? I know she's came back from death and all but that doesn't mean she won't die long before Elaina hit 100 years old."

"I am well aware of that, father." said Liara as the thought of Shepard die long before they will, scares her.

"I might not like her at first when I found out she's your bondmate, but I realized that she's a perfect match for you and I know for a fact that she won't let anything happen to you."

"I didn't realize you feel that way."

"You have to after finding out Shepard sent your daughter back on the Normandy when she got hurt pushing towards the beam. But I was mad at her for bringing you with her in the first place."

"I asked her to bring me with her. She wasn't about to picked me and I knew that so I asked her to. I knew she won't be able to say no if I say the words right."

"You're still feeling guilty." said Aethyta after a few second of silence.

"So you thought it fair for Shepard to suffer because your guilt?" add Aethyta after Liara stay silent.

"Of course not! I just- I don't know how to tell her."

"You're not given Shepard enough credit. She might surprise you. I know I did."

"If I tell her the truth, I'm not the only one she hates..."

"Then I will personally smear her at a wall."

* * *

After a few days of light work while taking care of Elaina, Shepard works are beyond light for today. After a few hours of meeting with the council, dealing with C-Sec cases, Shepard finally had a moment to breathe. That only last a few seconds before Traynor inform her of a guest.

"Admiral, your 3.55 pm appointment is here." said Traynor through the intercom.

"Remind me again what the appointment is for?"

"A businessman was caught dealing something illegal and Commander Bailey has asked for your help to deal with him since he is some big name businessman with a tie to an ambassador."

"Send him in." said Shepard after a sigh.

"Admiral Shepard, it's a pleasure to meet you. I'm sure we will settle this unfortunate incident soon." said a tall dark hair man as he entered Shepard office.

"I'm sure it is." said Shepard as she look after the case file in her desk.

"Mr. Russell. There's evidence of you dealing in illegal work and the only reason I'm handling this because you managed to pull a string with your connection with an ambassador. And I can't say I'm a fan of someone using their connection to get a better treatment."

"Let me be frank, Admiral. You either turn a blind eye or this won't end well."

"Is that a threat, Mr. Russell? Let me remind you, I don't take lightly on a threat."

"Then you will know what to do." said Mr. Russell as he put down an envelope on Shepard desk before exiting her office.

Shepard was dumbfounded by what just happened before recover to take a look at the envelope. Soon enough her face went pale.

* * *

"Who is this stupid pyjak who think he can get away after threatening Shepard?" asked Grunt.

"Yeah. Is he has a death wish or something?" said Ashley.

"Listen Grunt, I need you to get back to my apartment and stay there. Don't let anyone come in and don't let Liara and Elaina out of your sight." said Shepard.

"Wait, you're telling me I'm going to miss the fight?" grumbled Grunt.

"I don't trust anyone else to take care of them in case this went awry."

"I'm offended by that, Shepard." said Garrus who was silent the entire time.

"Me too." add Ashley.

"No time to mend both of your broken heart, we have work to do." said Shepard as she sat in the driver seat of the sky car she rented.

"I'm pretty sure there's one hundred and one regulations said this is wrong." said Garrus as they are half way to their destination.

"Since when you care about the rules? And we didn't even do anything yet." asked Shepard as she continue driving.

"You're forgetting we are Spectres." add Ashley.

"Since we're doing this mission and in case you're forgotten, Ashley, I'm not a Spectre."

"Ah, don't worry, Garrus. We will use our Spectre authorization to give you immunity." said Ashley.

"Glad to hear you didn't let the power went over your head."

"So you want us to let you spend the rest of your live in jail?" asked Ashley.

"On a second thought, be my guest."

* * *

Liara was helping her daughter with her homework when the doorbell rang.

"Shepard said there's foods." said Grunt after Liara opened the door before heading towards the kitchen.

"Grunt, why are you here?" asked Liara after she was taken by surprise by the sudden appearance of the tank bred krogan.

"Mommy, why there's a krogan in our apartment?" asked Elaina.

"Hmph. Shepard asked me to come here until she come back." answered Grunt light-heartedly as he rummage for the foods in the kitchen.

"That's Uncle Grunt." answered Liara to her daughter question as she processing what Grunt just told her.

"You mean the tank bred Krogan?!" said Elaina excitedly as she ran to Grunt.

As she watched Elaina went to the krogan, Liara knew something is wrong. She knew Shepard won't send Grunt to watch over them unless something is going on. But she knew there's no point asking Grunt what's going on and for now she has to be patience and wait for Shepard to come back.

* * *

"Who else knew?" asked Shepard as she points the gun at the tall dark hair man who was in her office an hour ago.

"I swear, it just me."

"How do you know anyway?" asked Ashley.

"I heard rumors that you were dating an Asari. And then I saw your former teammates, Dr. T'Soni had a child and I just put two and two together. My theory was supported when I saw you with a little Asari who is Dr. T'Soni daughter. I did some digging and I can't find any news about Dr. T'Soni bondmate. And by my calculation of the little Asari age, it made sense if she's your daughter."

"So you thought it will be wise to blackmail Shepard?" asked Garrus.

"I'll admit, it sounded better in my head."

"No one and I mean no one can threat my daughter and walk away. You're going to pay for you crime and I will make sure you will suffer each day you're in prison." said Shepard as she lower her gun.

"You're lucky, I would have killed you instead." said Garrus.

"You better make sure no one else know or I will come back for you. And I promise I won't be nice the next time around." warned Shepard as she signal Ashley to take the man into custody.

"Fortunately Grunt is not here or he will be very disappointed at the lack of fighting." said Garrus.

"Who knew for someone who has a gut to threatening Shepard find himself as a coward when she barged into his front doors with two of her former teammates?" add Ashley.

"That's what happened when a low life criminal used his connection to become a big time criminal except he doesn't have enough gut to pull it off." said Garrus.

"Shepard, we will handle this." said Ashley after she realized Shepard deep in thought.

"Thanks." said Shepard as she walked to her sky car.

* * *

Instead of going straight home, Shepard wonders around the Citadel before going back home after the night fall. When she went home, Liara and Elaina already sleeping and Grunt was sent home. Not feeling sleepy, Shepard took a shower before settle in front of the fireplace with a glass of tea. Shepard didn't even realized Liara descending the stairs as she watch the fire while her mind went someplace else.

"Shepard." said Liara as she sat next to Shepard.

"I thought you were sleeping."

"I was..."

"I guess you're going to ask me about Grunt?" asked Shepard as she put down her glass of tea on the coffee table.

"Yes..."

Shepard was silent for a few seconds, gathering her thought before she speaks.

"You were right... It's for the best if Elaina won't know who I really am and it's for the best that we don't make it news that I has an Asari daughter. Despite what I did to the galaxy, I still have enemies who are willing to do whatever necessary to get to me and I hate to see Elaina being use to get to me. And I won't forgive myself if she gets hurts in the process. There's also xenophobic groups who won't take the news very well... As much as I hate the fact I can't have my own daughter call me "father", it is for the best." said Shepard as the pain shown in her face.

"Shepard... That was not the only reason why I don't tell her about you or anyone else about her relationship to you..."

Guilt starts to build up inside Liara but she's also afraid of what Shepard reaction will be. But she knew her father was right, she need to tell Shepard the truth and relief her from the torture because she didn't deserve it. Seeing Liara having an internal battle with herself, Shepard remain silent and give Liara the time she needs.

"The reason why I didn't tell her you are her father was because I'm giving you a way out." said Liara after finding her courage.

"A way out?" asked Shepard not understanding what Liara trying to tell her.

"I- You never asked me how Elaina was conceived."

"I just thought that- Actually it never crossed my mind."

"I don't know what I did to deserve you. I betray you by giving your body to Cerberus even after I know what they have done. I keep telling myself I do it for you but actually I did it because I'm not ready to let you go. I was acting selfish and I didn't even think about what you will feel."

"Liara. If you didn't give up my body to Cerberus, the Collectors will have me instead. I rather work with Cerberus than become a part of Human Reaper."

"I still betray you, Shepard. I don't deserve you."

"Then what I have done to deserve someone as beautiful and smart as you? All I ever did in our relationship was putting my job as an Alliance soldier and as a Council Spectre ahead of you."

"I knew what I signed up for and you never once pressure me to be with you."

"What about when we were aboard the Shadow Broker base?"

"You were fighting for us and you agreed to my demand if you want to continue our relationship, you will come back to me. And you did."

"What is this really about, Liara?" asked Shepard as she watch Liara stood up walked towards the window.

"I betray you again, your trust because I act selfishly. For Asari, the one thing that is worst than being pureblood or an Ardat-Yakshi is conceiving a child without consent from the child father." said Liara as her back facing Shepard.

"Liara..." said Shepard as she stood up and slowly moved towards Liara.

"I was so afraid that I lose you again. The last time I lost you, I had nothing of you except your tags and a piece of your armor. I refused to lose you again without at least a part of you with me. I read your genetic materials through the "gift" and when you sent me back to the Normandy, I subconsciously passed it down to our child because I want an evidence of our love. But I should have asked you. Nothing can justify what I did."

"Is that why you looked conflicted after the "gift"? Liara... I'm not going to lie to you by saying I'm not mad but I understand. I wished you would have told me."

"Would you have given me permission?" asked Liara as she finally look Shepard in the eyes.

"...No. Because I don't even know if I'm going to make it through the war, alive. It's hard enough leaving you, the thought of leaving my unborn child too? It just too much."

"When I heard you're still alive, I was so happy but I also felt guilty for what I have done. Then you woke up and not remembering the last 3 years of your life. A few days after that I could felt our child, confirming that I am indeed pregnant. I thought it was a punishment from the Goddess for what I had done. Then I saw you with Matt and I just couldn't let you know I am pregnant with your child. When you found out and start to remember, I felt like I drag you into this. When you got a new assignment, I thought it was a chance for me to relief you of that responsibility. I couldn't tell Elaina about who her father is because I'm giving you a way out to be with Matt. After what I had done, that's the least I could do."

"Liara... I don't need a way out. I broke Matt advance ahead of the assignment because I meant every word that I want to be there for you and our daughter. Nevertheless whether you will accept me back in your life or not. I don't regret having Elaina as my daughter and even knowing she didn't know who I really am, I love her nevertheless. The only think that will hurt me is when she calls someone else her father."

"I would never let that happen, Shepard! Even I'm not being truthful to her about who you really are, I made sure she knew about you. About the Commander Shepard I fell in love with."

"I guess now I know where Elaina got an idea that we are more than friend."

"Wait- What?" asked Liara as she starts to blush.

"She told me about how she saw you look happier when I'm around and then she asked me if I love you more than a friend."

"What did you say?"

"I told her the truth, that I love you. Then she asked me why we aren't together after I told her that you knew about what I felt. I told her it's complicated."

"It shouldn't be if I told her the truth... I should tell her tomorrow."

"No. You don't have to."

"Why?"

"The reason why I sent Grunt here was because Ashley, Garrus and I were tracking down a low life criminal with an ambassador connection who blackmails me after figuring out about my real relationship with Elaina."

"How did he know?!"

"He just put the pieces of puzzles together... That remind me why I shouldn't be here anymore. When they found out the truth, she will become a target. I can't let that happen. It's better if she didn't know and I stay away from her. It's for the best."

"Shepard... I knew what it felt like living without knowing who my father was. Our daughter should know about her father. I shouldn't have kept the fact from her because I knew what it was like when my mother refused to tell me who my father was. I hate the thought that she hates me and Elaina shouldn't go through it too. Because her father loves her very much."

"What about your... Asari?" asked Shepard as she remembered Iana.

"My Asari? Oh, you meant Iana?! Goddess, Shepard! She's my half sister!"

"Half sister? You meant Matriarch Aethyta daughter?"

"Yes! Father asked her to meet me 3 years ago after her bondmate body has yet to be recovered. Father thought with my resources, I could help her out. As I looked for her bondmate, she took care of Elaina and they grew close. The reason why I went to Thessia was because one of my agents found her. Or at least a datapad containing a note to her. I don't have a sister before but I think it's my job to console her."

"I thought you finally moved on..."

"I can't, even if I try. You were the first person I loved and from the day you told me you loved me, I knew you were the one and only."

"Then you're extremely lucky I feel that way too." said Shepard with a smirk.

Realizing what Shepard just did, Liara gave Shepard a light shove. Shepard then wrapped Liara in her arms before slowly closing the gap between them. Shepard then found herself lost in Liara blue eyes before she leans in closer for a deep and longing kiss.

"Meld with me." pleaded Shepard after their kiss.

Liara was hesitant at first but the look Shepard gave her, she just couldn't deny Shepard request. And she knew her heart ache at the thought it has been so long since she meld with Shepard. She finally gave in and she brushed her mind gently with Shepard mind and as soon as the connection establish, she was wrapped in a comfort she's longing for. There were no words, just love. Right at that moment she knew for the first time in over 5 years, she has her Shepard's back.

* * *

**A/N: Oh boy. I think I almost burst into tears for the last scene... It probably just me though. So will it be happy ending for them? Oh I don't know because there's this one tiny little thing about Elaina finding out who Shepard really is. Who know how she will react. Anyway what do you think about the real reason why Liara refused to tell Elaina about who her father is? Also I have a little note for my favorite reviewer, RED78910, it was never in my plan to have Liara move on since I took a mental note on how Liara was after Shepard death. And Iana was always been Liara half sister and Aethyta daughter. You know the part Hanar... I just thought it will be a nice idea to have Liara has a sister and Elaina to have a real aunt. **


	9. Take My Hand

**A/N: Did I ever mention how much I love new reviewers? Special shout out to RheasHelm. Thank you for your reviews and keep at it. I love reading your reviews. I felt like you get what I'm trying to do (which make me so happy) and you also said some things that got me thinking a few things. So please keep reviewing my story. It goes to each one of you, readers too. It always nice to see what you guys think because it might prompt to an idea for future chapter or just by telling me what might be missing from the story. Just as long as you promise me not to bash me and keep reminding me about my grammar mistakes. I get it that my grammar is a mess but I also keep telling you guys that English is not my first language. I'm improving each day and sometimes I simply mistype it rather than a mistake. So please understand. Well enough with the ramblings, let just go on with the chapter.**

* * *

Chapter 9 : Take My Hand

Shepard was so busy handling a few things that she almost forgot her lunch date with her best friend, Maddison. As soon as she realise it, Shepard rush off from her office and drove to a 5 star human restaurant in Presidium Commons. As soon as she arrived, Shepard was greeted by a waitress and then she was shown a table where Maddison was waiting for her.

"You do know that now you should be the one who are buying this lunch." said Maddison after Shepard sat down and ordered her drink.

"If that's the case, we should leave this restaurant and go to a restaurant of my choice."

"Oh, don't tell me the saviour of the galaxy don't have enough credits to treat her best friend in a 5 star restaurant."

"It's not like I was paid big credits to save the galaxy."

"And yet you did it not once, not twice, but three time."

"What can I say? I'm an awfully nice person."

"Yeah, you are. And you're also awfully stingy."

"Said someone who told me I'm an awfully generous person after I gave you a VIP concert ticket of your favourite singer for your birthday."

Before Maddison could say anything, the meals she ordered earlier for both her and Shepard, arrived.

"So, what's with a lunch date with your best friend at a 5 star restaurant? I thought people usually do this with their 'special' person." asked Shepard after the waiter who brought their meals left.

"Are you saying you're not my 'special' person?" asked Maddison as she pretended to be shocked.

"You know what I'm saying."

"Well the truth is, Ryan planned this for us. By us I mean him and I. But he got an urgent call and he had to go back to Earth and since he already paying, he thought he shouldn't let it go to waste, so he suggested I have lunch date with you instead."

"Well, you tell him that no matter what he bribes me with, I still won't go easy with him."

"Grace, Grace. How long will it take until you will give him a break?"

"How long has it been? 15 years or so? I think it will be for another 15 years or so."

"Grace! You and I know that he's a great guy. He's not like the others."

"Relax, Maddison. I know he is. I just love to get on his nerves and remind him that I'm watching him. After all it's my job as your best friend to make sure he won't go breaking your heart."

"I appreciate that, Grace. But I'm not a good friend is it?"

"Why are you saying that?"

"I saw you got broken hearted and broke into pieces. I wasn't acting like a best friend when you asked me who Liara was. Even after I knew how much you loved her. Even after I knew she's pregnant. When I realised it, it was too late... I screw up and I almost drove you into madness." said Maddison as she hangs her head low, ashamed of what she had done.

"You were trying to protect me. You knew that I was struggling with what will happen between Liara and me when the Reapers war end and how I'm afraid I will break my promise to her. You thought you did the right thing for refusing to tell me who Liara is. You were trying to spare me from that feeling again."

"Just look at what that did. I've done such a great job." said Maddison sarcastically.

"It still turned out alright. Liara and I are together again."

"I guess... But I bet it won't be the same."

"I admit it, we are taking things slow. What happened was really hard on both of us. But we both know that we are still in love with each other. I think that's a good place to start."

"What about Elaina?"

"We still haven't agreed on when we should tell her. Honestly I'm afraid on how she's going to react but I also already done filling in all the paperwork necessary."

"What paperwork?"

"Oh you know, naming her as my dependant and if anything happened to me before she's 18 years old, the Alliance will support her. Basically just letting the Alliance know I have a daughter."

"Which also mean there will be media frenzy once you submit it."

"Yes. That's why I'm considering my options. I'm not sure of anything yet but one thing for certain, I want Elaina to know who I am. I don't think I can keep lying anymore."

"That's good, Grace. You know there is a saying that having kids are never easy but it will be worth it."

"So how come you don't have kids yet?"

"You know me, I'm traditional. Married first before have kids. Also I'm afraid my father will kill Ryan if I ended up pregnant first before he proposed."

"There is nothing wrong with that. I would have done the same but you know how it is. Sometimes you can only plan it."

"I couldn't agree more. So how's your new work? I never thought I see the day you take a work desk over serving on a ship."

"It's a bit dull for now. Lots of planning, politics and other stuff, but once it's over I expects my work will be nothing but dull."

"What is exactly your job description?"

"I will be overseeing a new task force that will combine every best operative from every species. I also will oversee the new alliance between Geth and Quarian and also between Turian and Krogan. That is only to name a few..."

"Not enjoying it, I take it?"

"It's annoying beyond belief. I thought once the war was over, I am done with it, but guess what? Since I've done a great job, why don't I take it over, forever?"

"Haha. If you despise it, why you took the job?"

"I was in a bad place back then, so I just don't really care. Afterwards it seems like a good offer since I could be around Liara and Elaina."

"And now?"

"I appreciate the time I will have to spend with Liara and Elaina but you know me."

"That, I do. I'm sure you will end up loving it. After all it's important to give Elaina some stability. We both know how life is in the military. The constant moving, new friends, new school, new surrounding and all, I'm sure your daughter will appreciate stability in her life. After all having you as her father mustn't been easy."

"Is that supposed to flatter me?"

"Yes and no. Anyway it's nice to see you back to normal." said Maddison to a smile from Shepard.

* * *

Shepard had to admit, she's really happy lately. Stuff between her and Liara are slowly going back to normal and her nightmares have start to stop bothering her. Elaina has shines her light all over her and now her life is no longer fills with darkness but instead joyful. She feels whole again after missing half of herself over the course of the war and after the war.

As Shepard walked into her apartment, she saw Liara stood in front of the big windows, looking over the sky car flew past their apartment. Shepard heart skips a beat as she watched her lover. There was nothing unusual about Liara in that moment, but it never stops Shepard from watching Liara in amazement.

Shepard closes the gap between her and Liara before snaking her arms in her lover waist from behind.

"Shepard, I didn't hear you coming." said Liara as she turns to face Shepard.

"Are you free tonight?" asked Shepard after giving Liara a kiss.

"Yes. Why?"

"I'm thinking about us going out for dinner. Just the three of us. After dinner we could show Elaina around the Presidium. Might even tell her about the time we went through the Mass Relay with a Mako."

"That is the last time I will ride a Mako with you."

"I got us through, aren't I?"

"Not without my heart stopped beating at one point." said Liara as she received another kiss from Shepard.

"Liara... If I didn't make this clear before, I want to make it clear now. I love you, never doubt that. And I'm not mad at you, I never was. Not even about how Elaina was conceived. My loves towards you are greater than any lack of judgement you make. So you can stop worrying and start looking me in the eyes again. Because nothing you could have done that will push me away from you. And our daughter."

"Shep-" Before Liara could even say anything, Shepard silent her with a passionate kiss.

"Ugh. Get a room, you two."

"Last I check it's my apartment, Jack." said Shepard after breaking the kiss. "How do you even get in?"

"The door was unlocked. Maybe next time you should lock the door before you two... you know." said Jack nonchalantly as she took a seat in a chair in the living room.

"Or maybe next time you could just simply ring the bell first? Regardless of whether the door was unlock or not?"

"Yeah, I could do that. So why do you need to see me?"

"It's about the Grissom Academy and you were supposed to meet me at my office." said Shepard as she took a seat in a sofa and followed by Liara.

"I went there but Traynor said you are here. And that's why I'm here. It's not my fault."

"You were supposed to meet me this morning not this evening!"

"Well are you going to tell me why I'm here or not?"

"You still need to see me the first thing in the morning tomorrow. Because all the papers I need you to sign are at my office."

"Do I really need to sign those?"

"Yes, if you want to teach at Grissom Academy again."

"Ugh. The Alliance are lucky that I am somehow fond of my job."

"You're a good instructor, Jack. The kids are lucky to have you as their instructor."

"Is that means you will have me as Elaina instructor?"

"Well... We haven't talk about that." said Shepard as she looks at Liara.

"Usually Asari kids are teach by their mother. But Elaina is yet to show her biotic ability." said Liara.

"Is that normal? Shouldn't she have shown some biotic ability already?" asked Shepard.

"She should have. Asari kids usually show their biotic ability early on their life. She's 5 years old now and she has yet to show any biotic ability."

"Is that even possible for an Asari not to possess a biotic ability?" asked Jack.

"No. It's a part of us. But it is not uncommon for an Asari to abandon her biotic ability. But not to have any biotic ability at all? It's never heard of."

"You think it has something to do with how she was conceived? Who know what the Crucible pulse could do to a developing baby in a womb?" asked Shepard worriedly.

"I... I don't know."

"No point of worrying now. Just give it time. I'm sure it just needs time to evolve. After all any kids of yours, will be great, whether she has biotic ability or not." reassured Jack.

"Is that supposed to reassure me?"

"Yeah. I mean you came back from the death, twice. And you beat Reapers single-handedly. Liara biotic ability may not be as impressive as Samara but I doubt even Samara had the same biotic ability Liara has at your age."

"You know, Jack. You surprised me. I never expect you to say something like that."

"Well it's your doing." said Jack in annoyance to a laugh from Shepard.

* * *

After they went to dinner, they walked around Presidium much to Elaina delighted as Shepard answered every question she asked. Shepard even told her the story about the Mass Relay in the Presidium. Liara even told Elaina about their journey together but much to Shepard dismay, Liara had to pick the story when she went through the fish tank.

"You actually went through the fish tank?!" said Elaina once again as they arrived in their apartment.

"Yes. It is not as funny as you think when you are the one falling through the fish tank."

"I know. But you have to admit, it's funny."

"Yeah, yeah... You know Liara, I can't believe you decided to tell her that story of all the story. You never going to let me live that down, aren't you?"

"Why? It's a good story, right Elaina?"

"I love both of you." said Elaina suddenly as she hugs both Shepard and Liara.

"Where is this coming from?" asked Shepard as she knelt down so she is face level with Elaina.

"I love to see how happy you two are. I love how much you two love me. I never want to lose that."

"You won't." promised Shepard.

"How can you promise that? What if you find someone else? Won't you leave? What about when you have a kid of your own? You will stop loving me."

"Nothing can make me stop loving you. And no one can come between us and break the bond between us."

"How can you be sure?"

Shepard and Liara look at each other as both of them nod in agreement that this will be the right time to tell Elaina about who Shepard really is.

"Because you two have a bond greater than anything else in the galaxy." said Liara.

"Remember when you asked me if I love your mother? The truth is we were together. I love your mother more than anything else in the galaxy. The main reason I saved the galaxy was so I could have a life with her. So she will live in a better galaxy. But life can be cruel sometime. After the war, against all odds, I was once again survived but not without a consequence. I forgot the past 3 years of my life, including your mother. I didn't remember a single thing about her or about us. It hurt your mother." explained Shepard.

"I was pregnant with you at that time and I felt like it was a punishment for me. I didn't tell her that I was planning to have you, in case she won't survive the war. I had to live for 2 years without her around and it was painful for me and I knew that I will never want to feel that way again. So I decided to have a part of her by having you. When she survived and then waking up without a memory of the past 3 years, I thought it was my fault." add Liara.

"But it wasn't her fault. And it's not your fault either, Elaina. I love both you and your mother and no one can say otherwise. I'm sorry for missing the past 5 years of your life and I understand if you're going to hate me for it."

"It was part of my fault. I should have told you about whom your father is but I was afraid she won't acknowledge you as her daughter once she finds out the truth. But I should have known better because for as long as I have known her, she is the kindest and understanding person that I have ever met."

"And I should have said no to the Alliance and the Council request. I should have stay with you and be there when Elaina was born."

"I don't care whose fault it is. I don't care about anything else. All I care is that I have two wonderful parents that love me. And I love them." said Elaina as she wraps both of her parents for a hug.

Both Shepard and Liara hearts grew warm at their daughter simple gestures. They both know that their daughter is special and they are lucky to have a daughter who has both of their traits and mature beyond her age.

* * *

A month has passed since Elaina learned the truth. It's also has been almost a month since the news broke out about the saviour of the galaxy is in a relationship with an Asari and both of them have a daughter. It has taken everyone by surprise and some humans have publicly criticized the relationship. Some even said it was a political relationship.

But Shepard didn't pay any attention to any of it because what important is that both Liara and Elaina know that she loves them. And all she needs is their love and also approval from both of her parents, which were given. Other than that, Shepard didn't care.

"So, I'm thinking. With Elaina is with my parents until tomorrow, who don't we do something special?" asked Shepard as both she and Liara snuggle close to each other while watching a movie.

"What you have in mind?"

"I can't tell you. But can you leave the house until dinner time?"

"Shepard, what are you planning?"

"Please trust me. You will know tonight." pleaded Shepard.

"Fine."

* * *

Its dinner time as Liara walked toward her apartment she shared with Shepard. As she opened the front door, the apartment lights were dimmed. There are lit candles all over the apartment and roses petals all over the floor from the front door leading to the kitchen. Liara followed the trail and once she arrived at the kitchen, she saw the table filled with foods. Liara didn't even notice Shepard is behind her and the next thing she knows is Shepard arms are on her waist.

"Shepard... This is amazing." said Liara as she turns around to face Shepard.

"I'm glad that I managed to amaze you." said Shepard as she gives Liara a kiss.

"I wish you would have told me to wear something nice."

"Why? You already look beautiful in your lab coat." said Shepard who is wearing a black t-shirt and suit.

"Can't you at least give me a few minutes so I could change into a dress?"

"Alright, fine. Don't keep me waiting."

After a few minutes of waiting, Liara appeared in the kitchen again. Liara has decided to wear a yellow dress. As soon as Shepard saw Liara, she almost couldn't breathe at the sight of Liara. It never failed to amaze Shepard at how each time she looks at Liara, it was like it was the first time she laid her eyes on her.

"You look beautiful." said Shepard after finally finding her voice.

"Thank you." said Liara as she gave Shepard an innocence smile that Shepard love and miss so much.

"I know that for as long as we have dated, we never can get to do anything like this. So I thought that since we are starting over, why not we do this properly?" said Shepard as she helps Liara to a chair.

"Is this how human do it?"

"Yes. This is what we call a candle light dinner."

"This is nice."

"We should do this often."

"Yes, well. Maybe after..."

"Every day after." said Shepard as she gives Liara a smile.

* * *

After dinner, Shepard leads Liara towards the living room as she turns on the music.

"May I have this dance?" asked Shepard as she offers her hand.

"Shepard, you can't dance."

"Come on. It just a slow dance. How much can I screw it up?" said Shepard before Liara gave in and take her hand.

They slowly dance close to each other, acknowledging each other presence and warmth for a comfortable few minutes.

"The first time you told me that you had a feeling for me, I never expect I will be this lucky to have you by my side and to have you loving me. After everything we went through, I knew that I'm lucky to have captured your heart." said Shepard as she broke the silence.

"And I am lucky to have you returned my love and to have you as the father of my daughter."

"I love you."

"I love you too, Shepard." said Liara before she kiss Shepard on the lips.

After breaking their longing kiss, Liara take Shepard hand in hers as she leads the way towards Shepard bedroom. That night, for the first time since their last night together before attacking Cerberus HQ, they spend the night in the same bed and waking up next to each other.

* * *

**A/N : Okay... That was a bit cheesy in the end. I don't know what got into me. Haha. I hope it's a good chapter. Especially the part when Elaina learned the truth. Well let me know what you think and if there's anything I should have write. Oh, if you're wondering what music they dance to, well just put whatever song you think appropriate. But if you're wondering what song it is, well... while I was writing that scene, I was listening to Ed Sheeran, Thinking Out Loud. So I hope it answer your curiosity if there is any.**


	10. The Next Stage

**A/N: I'm going to answer RheasHelm review. First thing first, about I'm wrapping things up, well I sort of did but this story is far from over since I'm thinking this story needs a wedding and perhaps another blue baby. About Maddison, you just wait what I have plans for her and her boyfriend will make his appearance in this chapter. About Elaina asking some good questions, well you will know how she comes up with the question later on. Same goes with what Javik told Shepard about her special abilities and why her biotics has yet to show itself. And I agreed that I see Shepard as someone who won't let anyone interfere with her relationship with Liara, but I like to think that Shepard values her parents approval/opinions even if she sometimes disregard it. For example when her father asked her to quit the Alliance. And yeah of course there's the thing about having them as babysitters. Haha. Lastly about the financial situations, well I think with Shepard's job, she is paid pretty well but considering they are living in the Citadel which I like to think is a high class place especially since the war, so money can be an issue. And I like to have Shepard as someone who won't use 'I saved the galaxy' card and someone who don't want any special treatment just because she saved the galaxy... I might write a scene about it so you will understand furthermore. But if I didn't, I hope you understand. Anyway without further ado...**

* * *

Chapter 10: The Next Stage

It's a sunny morning in the Citadel, nothing out of the ordinary since Shepard doubt anyone in Citadel know what is rain or storm or even snow. It seems like the weather in Citadel is just either sunny or dark, the only reason it was dark was because it's night. She is starting to miss the weather on Earth even though she always cursed the weather because it always has a great timing of ruining everything. But most of all she wants to see Elaina plays in the snow, building snowman and maybe even has a snow fight. After all it almost snow time on Earth.

"Admiral. Admiral Shepard!" called out Traynor as she tried to snap Shepard back to reality.

"Sorry, Traynor. What were you saying?" asked Shepard as she took a sip from her coffee.

It was Traynor idea to go out for some fresh air in Citadel Commons while she giving Shepard a low down about her schedule for the day. She said she needs to go out and about if she's going to find a girl and was hoping Shepard could be her sidekick. Shepard was only happy to comply her new personal assistant, thinking it's the least she could do after Traynor saved herself from having to deal with a stranger as her PA.

"I got a call last night from a man named, Ryan Brody, asking for an appointment with you. He said he's a close friend. I told him I never heard of him but he begged me to at least mention his name for you. He said it's important that he sees you."

"That's my best friend, Maddison, boyfriend. Tell him to come by my office this evening."

"Yes, Admiral."

"Anything else?" asked Shepard as she used her omni-tool to pay for their drinks.

"Councilor Shepard is asking for you to meet her at her office this morning."

"I will be on my way then." said Shepard as she stood up before walking to an elevator.

* * *

When Shepard arrived at her mother office, Hannah was nowhere to be seen. Clearly she is off with her Council business. Whatever that may be. This is precisely why she refused to be the new human councilor. Although she has to admit her mother is a perfect fit for the job. Fortunately, she's not like her mother, even though she has to admit she has her mother leadership and political ability. But she prefers to lead from the front line instead of from some desk... Which is kinda ironic now how she's now working behind the desk dealing with the rebuilding of Spectres, C-Sec and a new task force under the Councils.

"Sorry for the wait. There was some things I need to deal with the Alliance top brass." said Hannah as it interrupted Shepard thoughts.

"No worry. Can't say I'm jealous with your job."

"Unfortunately for you, one of those things I need to deal with has something to do with you."

"What did the Alliance wants now?" asked Shepard as she let out a small sigh.

"Your hand in a marriage." answered Hannah as she looked for her daughter reaction.

"What?! You're joking right? Since when the Alliance has a say on whom their soldiers should and shouldn't marry?"

"Since you saved the galaxy from the Reapers... You do know you have tons of marriage proposals, right?"

"And why should I care about any of them? As far as I'm concern before I saved the galaxy, they dubbed me as a "disgrace" when I joined Cerberus. Now all of the sudden I'm the hottest bachelor? It's not like they don't know I'm in a relationship with Liara."

"They do but as long as you're not married, you're still eligible. If only you listened to me when I told you to marry, years ago, you won't be in this situation."

"Oh yeah? You sure they won't put a hit on my husband instead?" asked Shepard before both of them burst into a laughter.

"You do know you can put a stop on all of this once you are married?"

"..."

"What's wrong?" asked Hannah as she saw her daughter conflict face.

"It just that... I was so close to propose to Liara before the war ended. I didn't because I knew that I couldn't promise her one thing she will ever ask of me... To always come back to her. Back then I swore that I will end the Reapers threat even if I have to sacrifice myself. Because I wouldn't let them kill the one person in this whole galaxy that I care about. The one person I came back from the death itself. Now... Everything has changed."

"But you love her and she loves you. That's the most important thing."

"Now, we have a daughter. There is someone else we should be worry about... And we're starting over. I'm not even sure if she will say yes if I propose."

"Then don't give her a reason to say no."

"It's that simple, huh?"

"It can be if you let it. Listen, Grace. I know you're afraid she rejected you. But I see the way she looks at you; there is no way on earth she will say no. Unless she's a fool, which I highly doubt it."

As she let what her mother told her sink in, Shepard right hand reach for the front pocket before she hold out a tiffany box.

"I bought this during our shore leave in Citadel. It was just after I defeated my clone. I saw it in a jewellery store and I thought it will look beautiful on Liara. It cost me a fortune but it's worth every credits." said Shepard as she opens the box and show it to her mother.

"This is a lovely gemstone. I'm pretty sure it's diamond, but not quite right?"

"No. It's a mixture of diamond and a Thessia gemstone and also a very rare Prothean gemstone. It symbolise me and Liara perfectly. There's a bit of human famous diamond, a Thessia remarkable gemstone and also a Prothean gemstone."

"It is special instead. There's no way you just simply stumble into it."

"No. What I saw in the jewellery store was a mix gemstone consists of Earth diamond and Thessia equivalent of diamond. The Prothean gemstone was something Javik gave me. I thought it would be nice if I can put it on the ring since Liara spends most of her lifetime studying Prothean."

"And you just happen to have the ring in your pocket, huh?" asked Hannah as she gives back the ring to Shepard.

"Since I regained my memories, I never let it out of my sight. I was afraid Liara found it... Also it's because it got me thinking."

"About what?"

"About how much I love Liara. And about when I swore I won't let Liara close to me again when I regained my memories. I love her so much that sometimes it hurt. I don't want to break her heart again. I died once and it was hard on Liara. I saw she changed because of what happened to me but I still love her because despite this new personality of hers, I know deep down, she still Liara T'Soni I fall in love with. Then I lost my memories when she was pregnant with my daughter. How many times I have to hurt her before I finally realized enough is enough? One day I'm going to die and I'm going to leave her. I just know that it's going to kill her. I shouldn't have tried to reconcile with her because that will save us a lot of feelings."

"But you can't do that to your daughter. You can't have her grown up without knowing who you are. You want to be a part of her life. And while doing so you can't help but being close with Liara again. I saw the way she looks at you and even if you try to push her away, I know that she will always love you."

"There is nothing else I rather do than being with Liara and our daughter for the rest of my life. But the thought of I will die long before they will..."

"You need to stop thinking about that. You don't know when you're going to die or when they will die. For all we know they might die before you or maybe all of you will die at the same time. We can't predict our death. I have seen you died first. No parents should ever outlive their children, yet I spent two years mourning you. So stop thinking about that. Forget all of that and live in the presence. Use every seconds you have to make memories, memories no one else can took from any of you."

"You're right, mom. Thank you." said Shepard as she gives her mother a hug, much to Hannah surprised.

"You know, I never thought I will see my daughter marry an Asari, but I'm glad it's Liara because you two are perfect for each other." said Hannah with a smile.

"So what are you going to tell the Alliance?"

"I will tell them to accept my daughter choice or go to hell if they don't agree because my daughter happiness is more important than anything else in this whole galaxy."

"Won't it get you in trouble?"

"I would like to see the Alliance try to take down a human councilor."

* * *

Ever since her talk with her mother, Shepard couldn't stop playing with the ring she bought to propose Liara. The thought of proposing Liara scared the hell out of her but she knows that there's nothing else she wants than being with Liara for the rest of her life, to have Liara as her wife and lead a happy life with Liara and their daughter, Elaina.

"Admiral, Mr. Brody is here to see you." said Traynor through the intercom.

"Send him in." said Shepard as she put back the ring into the box and keep it in her pocket.

"Grace, it has been awhile." said Ryan as he stepped inside Shepard office.

"It's good seeing you again, Ryan. So what bring you here?" asked Shepard as she points Ryan to sit in a sofa in her office.

"I'm here to ask for your permission to marry Maddison."

"Straight to business, I see."

"Well, there's no point in beating around the bush."

"I have to ask, why asked for my permission? Shouldn't you be asking for her father permission?"

"I already did and he already gave his permission but I know that how close you and Maddison are and how protective you are when it comes to her. So I think it's fair if I ask your permission to marry your best friend. I promise you that I won't hurt her and I love her with my whole heart."

"I'm flatter that you think you need to ask for my permission. I give you my permission but remember, if I see her cry because you hurt her, I will hunt you down and make you pay for it."

"Thank you, Grace. I won't expect anything else."

"So... When and where you're going to propose?"

"Tonight, during our romantic dinner. It just a simple proposal, nothing too fancy because I'm scared I will screw up."

"Good. After all Maddison hate it when it gets too fancy."

"Well... Before I excuse myself, any last tips?"

"No, no tips. I just going to tell you that it's about damn time you propose Maddison."

"In my defence, I was about to propose before Reapers arrived on Earth but of course when I was about to pop the question, the Reapers arrived. Talk about having the worst timing ever... I thought it wasn't appropriate to propose in the middle of a war. Forgive me for being a romantic and thinking it better to find someplace safe than kneel down on one knee." said Ryan to a light chuckle from Shepard.

"What about after the war?"

"She was busy recovering your memories and then she went off on a mission with you."

"For that, I'm sorry."

* * *

After Shepard done with her work, she decided to take a walk with Elaina around the Presidium since Liara has a late class at the University. Despite she's having a great time with her daughter; she couldn't help but feeling trouble whenever she thought about proposing to Liara. She tried her best to hide her trouble expression from Elaina but little did she know that Elaina could sense her trouble heart.

"Why are you so trouble, daddy?" asked Elaina. Ever since she learned the truth, she insisted on calling Shepard daddy. It was a little weird for Shepard at first but now, she treasured every time Elaina call her that.

"No, I wasn't. What make you said that?" lied Shepard.

"I can sense that something is troubling you."

"You can what?"

"I could sense that something is troubling you..." said Elaina as she looks down.

"But... How? You weren't melding with me."

"I don't know... I just could sense it."

"I'm not saying I know everything about Asari but even I know this can't be normal... How long has it been and did your mother know?"

"No, she didn't..."

"Elaina, how long has it been since you have this ability and keep it a secret?"

"It has been awhile..." said Elaina as she still looks down.

"Is that why you seem to know something troubling me? Is that why you always hugged me when something troubling me? And all those questions..." said Shepard as Elaina nods in agreement.

"Come on, let's go home. Your mother needs to be informed about this." add Shepard as she lifts Elaina chin so she will looks at her.

"...Are you mad?" asked Elaina.

"No, I'm not mad. Nothing you do can make me mad at you." said Shepard as she gives Elaina a kiss in the forehead.

* * *

When they got home, Liara was already at home and checking on Glyph regarding Shadow Broker network in the living room. Elaina rushes to her mother and gives her a hug as Shepard makes her way to sit next to Liara.

"What is this about?" asked Liara as she was taken by surprise by her daughter sudden gesture.

"There's something Elaina needs to tell you."

"What is it?" asked Liara as she starts to worry.

Elaina broke away from her mother grasp as she settles in between her parents before start telling her mother what she could do. Liara listened silently and looks deep in thought after her daughter finished explaining everything. Shepard just looks at Liara and waiting for a response from her lover regarding this situation because she honestly has no idea how to deal with this or if this is normal for an Asari. Although her gut feeling is saying this is not normal.

"I have heard of something like this but I'm not so sure." said Liara, breaking the silence.

"What do you mean?"

"There's a story about a group of Asari who can subtly meld with others without them noticing. But it just a myth passed down from generation to generation."

"A myth? From my experience, when it comes to myth, most of the time it can't be good."

"What I can remember from what my mother told me, this group of Asari came from the Goddess Athame itself."

"Which we know as the Prothean... I guess what Javik told me was right. That Elaina is special."

"Honestly, Shepard. I am clueless to what I should do."

"What about we call Javik here? And Samara too. She might provide us with more information of this "myth"."

"It will take time for them to come here."

"Well, well. Look at that, I finally know something the Shadow Broker didn't know." said Shepard with a smirk. "Javik is on the Citadel alongside Wrex and Grunt. And Samara is also here since she has a meeting with Councilor Tevos, tomorrow."

"How did you know all of this?"

"I won't be a good partner for the Shadow Broker if I'm always out of the loop." said Shepard as Liara playfully shove her.

"I met with Javik, Wrex and Grunt at the bar before I went for a walk with Elaina because C-Sec requested my presence after they caused trouble. And of course, Grunt first instinct was to have C-Sec called me. I think I should start charging Grunt each time he asked me to bail him out of trouble. And as for Samara, I was scheduled to meet her tomorrow alongside Councilor Tevos." explained Shepard.

"I will send a message to Javik to come by the apartment and can you request Justicar Samara to come too? After all you're closer to Justicar Samara than I am."

"No problems." said Shepard as she starts typing into her omni-tool.

About half an hour later, Javik and Samara arrived at the apartment almost at the same time. Liara wasted no time to explain everything and after she finished explaining, Javik went closer to Elaina and touch her hand to start reading Elaina while Samara looked deep in thought as she tried to remember what she learned about the group of Asari who possessed the same ability as Elaina does.

"Your daughter genetic readings are consistent of Asari, Human and Prothean." said Javik after he finished reading Elaina.

"Nothing surprising about Asari and Human part, but Prothean?" said Shepard. "Could it be my Prothean cipher?"

"It seems likely." answered Javik.

"Is this what you mean by Elaina is special?"

"Yes. But I wasn't expecting this."

"Could this be what Protheans always hoped the Asari will become?"

"Possibly."

"What Elaina possessed is quite powerful, Shepard. Especially once she discover her biotic. She will need someone to teach her to control her power. Something Liara couldn't do. And we don't know for sure the extent of her ability." said Samara.

"Why not?" asked Shepard.

"My biotic ability is nothing compare to a Matriarch or a Justicar. We need a Matriarch or a Justicar to teach Elaina to control her power. There's only little I could do to help her but eventually I couldn't help her until my biotic ability evolve as I hit my Matrion and Matriarch stage." explained Liara.

"I am happy to help, if you wish, Shepard." offered Samara.

"It will be an honour, Samara. But wouldn't you rather stay close with Falere?"

"By my code, a Justicar should help an Asari if they possessed ability that only Justicar or Matriarch could help her control it."

"Just promise me that you will keep in touch with Falere regularly. I hate to see Elaina became the reason you spend less time with Falere."

"I promised."

"Justicar Samara will teach me?" said Elaina excitedly after staying silence as her parents talked to Javik and Samara.

"Yes." answered Shepard.

Liara then talked to Javik and Samara to learn more about what her daughter possessed as Shepard listening in before Elaina starts to whisper into her ears.

"Can I help?"

"Help with what?" asked Shepard.

"Asking mommy to marry you, daddy."

"This is going to get very tiring very fast." said Shepard as she still can't wrap around her head regarding her daughter ability to meld with her without she even realizing it.

"Can I?"

"Fine. You can help since I know you won't take no for an answer since it's in our family." said Shepard as she received a kiss to her cheek from Elaina.

* * *

A few hours later after Javik and Samara are long gone; Elaina was tucked in by Shepard and Liara before they retreated back to their bedroom, which they have been sharing for the last few weeks after Liara agreed to be beside Shepard each night.

"Wow. I know that any daughter of yours will be special, but this?" said Shepard as sit on the edge of the bed.

"No, Shepard. Any daughter of ours will be special." corrected Liara as she settles in beside Shepard.

"All this time... She might already know what's going on. She might be the reason why we are back together."

"Isn't that why we named her Elaina?"

"She's definitely our light in our darkest hour. We are extremely lucky to have a daughter like her. There's nothing I wouldn't do to keep her safe." said Shepard before she received a passionate kiss from Liara.

"What's that for?" asked Shepard after Liara broke the kiss.

"It warms my heart seeing how much you care about our daughter. After what I did..." before Liara could finish her sentence, Shepard put a finger on her lips to stop her from finishing.

"Hey, what did I told you? Stop feeling guilty about it. I will always love our daughter no matter what. I love you, Liara T'Soni." said Shepard as she gives Liara a deep kiss to reassure her lover. Liara respond by straddling her and push Shepard into the bed which took Shepard by surprise at Liara response but she was gladly comply her lover wish.

* * *

The next day, Liara went to Apollo's cafe to meet her father, Matriarch Aethyta and informed her about Elaina ability. After a lengthy talk, Liara finally found a courage to ask her father something that has been bothering her ever since she spend last night with Shepard and the real reason why she went looking for her father.

"Father, may I ask you about Asari joining."

"Thinking about spicing up your sex life with Shepard?" asked Aethyta as Liara face start to blush.

"No! I want to ask if it's normal during joining you're drawn to read your partner genetic heritage..."

"Are you pregnant again, Liara?"

"No! I managed to resist the temptation but I do not understand why I felt drawn to do so. It's different than before because back then I wanted to do it to preserve what I had with Shepard."

"It could be a sign that you're ready for you Matrion stage. Or it could be something else. You know, most Asari spend their entire lifetime without feeling the drawn to read their partner genetic heritage, especially when they weren't planning on getting pregnant. Even I never feel the drawn to do so. Some Asari will say that you're lucky because when you feel the drawn to read your partner genetic heritage, that show how much you two care about each other." explain Aethyta.

"Shepard is the only person you ever joined, correct?" asked Aethyta.

"Yes." answered Liara.

"I believe this tell that you and Shepard are as human says it, soul-mate. For Asari, when this happened, it is in our belief that you will be bonded with her for the rest of your life. You're lucky to find this kind of love so early and in this day and age... In other words, when is the wedding?" teased Aethyta as earlier; Shepard came by and asked for her permission to marry Liara.

"What?! We don't need to be married to stay together." said Liara as her voice was barely a whisper because honestly, she was waiting for Shepard to propose.

"It might be true, but I heard rumour that the Alliance is arranging a marriage for their saviour of the galaxy." said Aethyta to a look of horror from Liara.

"Shepard won't..."

"Don't worry, kid. I'm sure Shepard will come around." said Aethyta with a light chuckle as she just loved to tease her daughter.

* * *

When Liara got home, she was ready to confront Shepard about what her father said regarding the Alliance is arranging a marriage for her. But she wasn't expecting to see her daughter looking cute waiting at the door before leading her towards the living room where Shepard looks charmingly beautiful in her blue blouse and jeans.

As soon as she stands in front of Shepard, Shepard went down on one knee before pulling out a tiffany box and opens it to show a beautiful ring in it.

"Dr. Liara T'Soni, there's nothing else in this whole galaxy that I want to do more than marry you and build a family with the love of my life. I would like to spend the rest of my life with you and I promise that I will make you happy for as long as I breathe and when I was rudely taken from you, I will make sure you will always have a happy memories to come back to. And when the day comes when you will be joining me in the afterlife, I will be waiting for you with the brightest smile you will ever see. So will you do me an honour to be my wife?"

Liara couldn't believe what she is seeing and the words Shepard said bring tears in her eyes and she couldn't help but to nod in agreement. Shepard took that as her lover saying yes since clearly emotions are running high in Liara that she is left speechless by Shepard action. Shepard then stood up before putting the ring in Liara ring finger. She was then rewarded by a deep and longing kiss from Liara. In that moment, it felt like there's no one else around and as they slowly returning back to reality, they could finally see their daughter jumping up and down with joy which brought smile to their faces.

* * *

**A/N: I'm just going to end it right there. How was the proposal? I hope it was sweet. And regarding Elaina ability, I hope I didn't go too far. I'm sort of experimenting on it and there will be more info on her ability in future chapters but won't it be cool of Elaina have the ability to read mind? Sort of like Javik do but without the touching. I'm open to feedback regarding that and if you guys happy with it, then I will go on with it. If not, I will try to fix it. Anyway I don't even know what the hell got into me when doing that intimate moment between Shepard and Liara. I clearly went out of my comfort zone there. I'm sorry if it seems awkward since I don't usually write that kind of stuff. I am trying to add that into my writing but also try to make sure I don't have to change this story to M rated. And before I forget, I decided not to write a scene where Shepard asked for Aethyta permission because I have no idea how to portray it since I screwed it up in my other story, Forever After and there's also a fact this chapter is already long enough. I will leave it to your imagination to what went down between Shepard and Aethyta. So... I hope you guys like this new chapter and leave me a review or PM if you have any questions or anything. **


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